Nova Hawthorne has worked in the sex industry for a while now and while she’s always had clients that were married or in relationships, she’s now noticed an uptick in the affair fantasy.
Ms Hawthorne, 29, said she thinks it comes from the “thrill of the forbidden fruit” and people wanting to lean into the taboo of ignoring monogamy.
“The thrill of secrecy and the taboo nature of an affair can really heighten someone’s sense of arousal and pleasure,” she told news.com.au.
“It’s such an exhilarating fantasy for so many.”
Ms Hawthorne understands the appeal.
“Think about those times you have met a new partner, and it’s so deeply passionate and intensely exciting,” she said.
“But you’re in a committed relationship and don’t foresee experiencing that new feeling again. Why shouldn’t we explore fantasy in a healthy way?”
If the affair trope is your jam, Ms Hawthorne said that there are “safe and ethical ways” for individuals to explore that fantasy without cheating.
“Make sure you’ve had a conversation with your partner about your sexual fantasy and check they are on board with some sexy exploration,” she advised.
“Role-playing can be a fun way to tap into a cheating fantasy without compromising your relationship.”
Ms Hawthorne said you can really put some effort into it, go out, get dressed up, and pretend to meet your partner for the first time.
Of course, there are plenty of people that don’t want to involve their partner in their affair fantasies and instead seek out someone like Ms Hawthorne.
“Cheating and homewrecker role-plays are my number one most requested show. I believe there are a lot of men out there with a secret cheating kink,” she shared.
“Do I think these members would actually act upon their secret online desire? Yeah, I think many of them would, not all, but enough.”
The 29-year-old said that men she deals with can get very bold when it comes to cheating on their partners.
“I have had a member repeatedly video call me from his bed. He turned the phone around to reveal his girlfriend sleeping next to him,” she said.
“This is not uncommon. I’m often requested to use their wife’s names in the roleplay.”
“The homewrecker roleplay is different to the cheating fantasy because it usually means men requesting she seduces them to “make them cheat on their wives.
“In this role-play I am the bad person, and the guy is just spellbound by my sexual allure. I’ve often considered the psychological underpinnings of this fantasy, and my initial thought is that these people are playing out a fantasy of being desired,” she said.
Ultimately, Ms Hawthorne thinks that people aren’t just seeking out affairs, whether they are roe-playing them or actually conducting them – not just because of the sex.
“There are endless reasons outside of sexual gratification someone might seek out affairs. Emotional validation, self-discovery, human connection,” she said.
