Dear Abby: How can I handle an elderly aunt who has a gambling problem? I live in a casino town. She lives in another state, four hours away. She often calls me and asks to stay with me, and if I’m traveling, she asks to use my house, etc.
A year ago, she called me to help her get out of gambling in the state where she lives because she was out of control. She can no longer gamble where she lives, can’t afford hotels to go to cities with casinos and looks to me as her place to gamble.
I explained that I had a roommate and my place was small. I have no interest in someone who comes into my house and spends hours at an idle table (I’m health conscious), and I certainly can’t have him as a guest. She won’t give up! Is my only option to end communication with him? – not betting on it
Dear No Betting: Screening his calls is an option. The second is that you keep repeating your mantra that you can’t give him space because you have a roommate and your space is too small. Then encourage him to find another hobby. If you do this, she may stop asking you and look for another supporter.
Dear Abby: I’m in middle school and part of a large friend group. I have a friend, “Kaleigh”, who completely changed her mind last year due to the influence of another girl. Kaleigh started saying inappropriate things and only talking about boys. She never did this before becoming “best friends” with another girl. This has ruined the reputation of both of them.
I can’t decide whether I should confront him or not and if so, what to say. I don’t want any of them to be angry with me. We have had arguments before and when someone gets into an argument with them it is bad for the group. They often get into arguments with each other and somehow the whole group gets involved.
This has been going on for a year and has put pressure on the group. I don’t know if I can handle it any more. I’m not sure it would be easy to convince them if I confronted them. What should I do? , More drama in Tennessee
Dear More Drama: You said you’re part of a large friend group. You can’t “save” or change Callie, and telling her she’s ruining her reputation could come across as jealousy. Instead of confronting them, start focusing on friendships with the other girls in the group. One thing I’ve realized over the years is that you can never have enough friends.
Dear Readers: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing a traditional prayer written by my dearly departed mother:
Oh heavenly father,
We thank you for the food and remember the hungry.
We thank you for health and remember the sick.
We thank you for friends and remember the friendless.
We thank you for freedom and remember the slaves.
May these memories inspire us to serve.
That your gifts to us may be used for others.
Amen.
Everyone have a fun and safe celebration! , Love, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
