Dear Abby: My parents live with my husband and me. My relationship with my brother is very bad. He has always been abusive, cruel and emotionally abusive towards me. When my brother attacks, he goes for the throat. Whenever I have contact with him, I get so upset that I cannot sleep for many days.
My husband and I have decided to kick him out of our lives, but my elderly mother will not accept it. When I tell her I can’t see her, she trembles and cries for days. She says the family forgives anything and everything, and I just have to bear it. is that true? , hurt in indiana
Dear Hurt: no way! Stop telling your plans to your mother, and stay away from your abuser. While you are doing this, remember that dear old mother is responsible for her own feelings, and her tears and trembling stop when she has chosen her way. You are an adult. You don’t need to please your mother. And relatives should not forgive unforgivable people just because they are blood-related.
Dear Abby: Recently, my wife and I and several other couples were guests in a large house. Among them was a couple, who when introduced told that her husband was a chiropractor. The next day, while we were all watching TV, my wife mentioned having pain in her neck and arms. The chiropractor offered to adjust his neck and back and away they went.
After 30 minutes, I became worried. An hour later, the other guests were raising their eyebrows. I checked the house and didn’t find them, but I didn’t look in the bedrooms with closed doors. After 90 minutes, I quietly asked his wife where he was, and she said in his bedroom. I requested them to check them, and they came out immediately. There was no view, but I was worried. I was later advised that my attitude in this regard was “inappropriate”. I would appreciate your perspective on the situation. , dumb in georgia
Dear Fool: I don’t think your attitude was inappropriate. You were uncomfortable with your wife’s prolonged absence with another man while everyone else was mingling. The chiropractor’s wife knew where her husband and your wife were, so that tells me you have nothing to worry about, but your feelings were your feelings, and under the circumstances, you were entitled to them.
Dear Abby: Over the past few years, I have caught a close friend of mine in many lies, big and small. Earlier, we were close, but since this lie has come to light, I have retreated. I no longer trust him and wonder how many more lies there are. My question is, should I let the friendship end, or does she deserve an explanation? , truth teller in new jersey
Dear Truth Speaker: If she asks why your relationship is no longer as close as it used to be, tell her the truth because you are a truth-teller. Unless she initiates the conversation, I don’t think anything is going to be achieved by confronting her and possibly creating an atmosphere.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
