Dear Abby: When my son got married in 2003, we had a great time with him and his wife. Now that we have cell phones, things have changed. It’s almost impossible to have a relationship with her because whenever they come over to our house, she’s always on her phone! My son talks to his dad, and I’m sitting there wondering what to do.
Will you say anything to your daughter-in-law about this? She immediately talks on the phone as soon as she arrives and remains on the phone most of the time. This was not the case when cell phones were not so popular. It hurts my feelings that she comes to my house only to socialize with her Facebook friends and not with us, since we rarely meet them.
Should I speak? I don’t want to cause trouble and I don’t want to alienate them. I love her, but I think it’s rude that she’s on her phone the whole time. It makes me feel like I’m not worthy enough for him to even talk to me. I also have two other daughters-in-law who are on their phones occasionally, but not like this. – phone off in kentucky
Dear Close: Undoubtedly, what your daughter-in-law is doing is rude. It is also insensitive. This won’t stop until you and your husband say something. When you do this, don’t call your message “rude.” Instead, tell her that it hurts your feelings and makes you feel like she doesn’t value your company as much as you do hers. It also hinders high quality touring. If you express it that way, it might make him less defensive, because it’s the truth.
Dear Abby: My fiancee and I have been together for many years. I never really liked her mother – for legitimate reasons. She despises and disrespects her son. The final blow came when she came to me two months ago and made derogatory comments about me to her. (He didn’t exist.) This was a lie, and I called him out on it. Of course, he had no rebuttal. She is also negative in her personal life and often lies.
I talked to my fiancé about this, and he addresses the issues with her, but not in a way that makes him understand that he must either respect her or risk not having a relationship with her. She uses others, is two-faced and rarely bathes. I am considering breaking off our engagement at this time. I’m tired of this woman’s lack of respect. Should I walk away from this relationship? , disgust and astonishment in the east
Dear Disgusting: If your tolerance level has reached its limit, you may need to walk away. However, I don’t think you should give your fiancé an ultimatum to decide between you and his mother. As obnoxious and disgusting as she is, she is still his mother. I think you should suggest that he talk to a licensed psychiatrist about his relationship with her. If it’s as unhealthy as you described, he may decide to distance himself from her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
