Dear Abby: I am in an open relationship with my partner. We both enjoy having relationships with other people, but only if we agree on that person. It was going great; I still get a chance to be alone with my partner. But now it seems like instead of just being in love with me, he only wants to touch me when someone else comes over. What is the best way to contact him about this? Might I suggest we stop inviting people over for that type of entertainment? , courageous woman
Dear lady: It appears that your partner has lost interest in one-on-one intimacy. If that’s the case, you have to accept it so you can adjust your life accordingly. Healthy relationships, open or closed, are linked to honest communication. If you are unhappy with the way your relationship is developing, you have every right to say so.
Dear Abby: I am 58 years old and in recovery from drug addiction. I abused drugs and alcohol for over 30 years, and now I have 20 months clean, thank God. During my addiction, I had a friend who was a strong supporter of mine. I always considered him a friend, because he was there when I was actively addicted.
Now that I’ve come clean, he wants to take it further and move on from friends to relationships. Yes, I care about him, but he wants to marry me without knowing the real me. He is a hard worker who does not drink or smoke. He just works and comes home. He is exactly the kind of man I was looking for. Please advise me what should I do. , clean and clear in florida
Dear Clean and Quiet: Your saying that this man wants to get married without knowing the truth (I think you mean cool) speaks volumes to me. This tells me that you are making a mature, well-thought-out decision, for which I congratulate you. He may be exactly what you are looking for, but postpone marriage until you are sure he knows you and can accept your new stronger and calmer self.
Dear Abby: We have vegetarian and vegan friends. Over the years, when we have invited them for a celebration, we (omnivores) always make sure to include dishes they will enjoy. But when they invite guests for dinner, they never include a meat dish, not even a piece of chicken.
I’ve asked around and apparently everyone has the same experience. Don’t you think a little reciprocity is appropriate? Anyway, the hospitality rule certainly seems one-sided. If vegans are concerned about inedible leftovers, they can always provide a doggie bag for their guests. , one way in the west
Dear one-sided: Please consider this as your wake up call. Many vegetarians and vegans do not want meat, chicken or fish in their kitchen. If, in addition to what they provide, you feel the need to consume animal protein, consume some before or after visiting their house. If it doesn’t suit you, respond to their invitation with a polite apology.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
