Hayden Panettiere is speaking out about the passing of her younger brother, Jansen.
“He was my only brother and it was my job to protect him,” the 35-year-old said. People “When I lost her, I felt like I lost half of my soul,” he said in an interview published Wednesday.
Jensen's death came shortly after Panettiere got sober after entering rehab in 2020 and leaving an abusive relationship with her ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson.
The “Amber Alert” star had also begun acting again, after her brother died suddenly at age 28 from an undiagnosed heart condition, just three weeks before the February 2023 premiere of “Scream 6.”
The “Bring It On: All or Nothing” alum hasn't left her home since Jensen's death, especially after being followed by photographers in the days following the tragedy.
“I had to look at horrific images of myself coming out of Jensen's funeral, which took place in a very private place, and it was shocking,” Panettiere said. “My agoraphobia came out, which I've struggled with before.”
Within days, her grief turned from shock to a physical reaction, and Panettiere said she was almost unrecognizable. “I just bloated,” she said of her rapid weight gain.
Panettiere explained that the sudden changes in her body were due to “stress and cortisol”, which caused her to lose self-esteem. “I didn't feel confident enough to get dressed and leave the house, but I also knew I needed to get out and keep moving, or else I'd never be able to stop looking and feeling like this.”
She added: “It became a destructive hamster wheel of, do I feel well enough to go out?”
Panettiere contacted personal trainer Marnie Elton through her publicist and slowly began exercising again.
The two connected on a personal level, and Panettiere shared stories from her past with the fitness guru during a long walk.
“These long, beautiful walks where we could express our feelings, and it was like therapy sessions,” Panettiere told the outlet. “Marnie empowered me.”
And along with the open communication, the endorphins Panettiere was getting from burning fat also boosted her mood.
“My body started responding, not just to exercising. It helped me get rid of the stress I always had, the high expectations I had for myself,” she said.
As her confidence grew, her agoraphobia diminished. Panettiere admitted, “There's nothing like looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door.”
These days, while she continues to recover from Janssen's death, the “Nashville” vet has also gained a new perspective following the loss.
“When something so big happens to you, you really learn to pick your battles and not let the little things bother you,” Panettiere said. “Because once something so horrific, so dark, so devastating happens in your life, there's nothing that can shake you.”
The “Heroes” star is grateful to feel like himself these days and is excited for the release of his new movie, “Amber Alert,” which hits theaters Sept. 27. But the shock of Jensen's death will still linger.
“I'll always be sad about this. I'll never get over it,” Panettiere admitted. “No matter how many years go by, I'll never get over his loss.”
