That’s a real trip!
A Jersey girl has sparked a major debate on a date.
Zach, a 34-year-old software engineer at FiDi, planned a first date after matching with a woman from Jersey City on Hinge, but as soon as they set up a time to meet, she demanded – “How am I going to get there?”
“My initial reaction was ‘Oh, this woman absolutely wants me to call her Uber,’ which is a little bit of a red flag to me, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt,” Zach told The Post. ,
The exchange was posted to online dating coach Erica Ettin Instagram handle @alittlenudge and quickly garnered over 370,000 views and over 1,000 comments.
The back-and-forth continued with Zach giving his match a pair of public transportation options. “I think it’s the closest to Brookfield Place by boat or WTC [World Trade Center] on the path.”
She was not impressed. “Oh. I thought you were going to send me an Uber.”
A Connecticut native who moved to the Big Apple three years ago, Zack explained why he felt the request was out of bounds.
He said, “I haven’t met you yet… I didn’t know this guy’s last name, I’d never laid eyes on him.”
“If I was going to call him an Uber, he’d have to send me his address, which is a really weird thing to send to some random guy.”
“I’m not familiar with good first date spots,” he wrote when initially offering a trip to the Garden State. Got any favourites? Otherwise, I’d recommend some things in Manhattan.”
When the woman, who was about 30, said she was brand new to Jersey and “ready for Manhattan tips,” he gave her two options. She opted to have drinks at FiDi in Treadwell Park.
When the woman made it clear she wanted him to cough up the cash for her trip to Gotham, Zach tried to lighten the mood, writing, “I wish you phrased it as ‘Call me an Uber’ If I had, I could have said, ‘You’re an Uber,'” but he never responded.
He still showed up for the date “just in case”. But when he messaged her to say he’d found a seat, she replied, “I’m not coming.”
She wrote back, “It was a little weird” that he asked her for an Uber, especially since he offered to come to her — and she responded, “I’d travel about an hour to meet you on a first date.” No, even for dinner. At least you can afford my transportation. It’s not a strange concept for a gentleman.
Instagrammers were shocked by the nerve of the woman, who had assumed he would pay her travel bill, calling it “ridiculous”, “disrespectful” and “extremely difficult”.
“It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never heard of such a thing,” one wrote.
Another said, “I wouldn’t have believed it if it hadn’t been posted.”
Many criticized the woman’s argument, and assured Zach that he “dodged a bullet.”
“Spending hundreds of dollars on a girl who can’t spend 15 minutes on a train, can’t explain that she wants to be accompanied everywhere by a driver, and calls her ungentlemanly because she didn’t do something that would be nice to most people. Will people who live in NYC find this offensive? This is a ‘no’ dog for me,” said one.
Single women from all over the world said they would have traveled to meet Zach — with comments like “would happily cross state lines to meet this guy,” “I would really love to have this date.” I would make the trip from London to NYC on my own,” and “What can’t I do to show this level of effort and consideration to a guy for a date in my city.”
Although most people were on their side, some were Team Jersey Girls.
“He initially said he would provide options in his area,” one said. “Then since he wasn’t familiar with the neighborhood he said, ‘This changes things.'”
Although he was burned by a man from New Jersey, Zack said he is still open to dating women from across the river.
“Why would I judge all the people of the same state based on the bad experience I had with someone,” he said.
He also can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had traveled to the Garden State in the first place.
“I wonder what would have happened if I had just gone and chosen a place in Jersey,” he said. “Who knows, right?”
