It’s 2024 and we’re still dealing with f**kbois. Worse, we’re still dating f**kbois, the ultimate category of relationship red flags. Not only are these men inconsistent, insecure, and immature, but they somehow manage to charm (read: snake) their way into our lives and disrupt all our peace.
F**kbois are the masters of breadcrumbing (thank you for the updated lingo, Gen Z!), ghosting, and playing mind games that tend to rattle even the most centred of our lot. Ask any psychologist why you keep attracting f**kbois like buzzing bees, and they’ll link it back to your attachment style. However, instead of deep-diving into the whys and hows, today we’re sticking to what we see on the surface — namely, the way a f**kboi acts or reacts to any tricky (or let’s face it — simple as hell) situation. Just for kicks, let’s call this collection a relationship red flags journal or, more simply, a 101 guide to f**kbois. You can thank us later.
Relationship red flags: 15 foolproof signs prove you’re dating a f**kboi
1. He says he isn’t into “labels” when you ask him to define your relationship
Forget being exclusive, he doesn’t even want to put the tag of “casual” on your relationship. Asking him to DTR (define the relationship) is the ultimate deal-breaker for him. “Why do we need to put a label on it?”
2. He never wants to acknowledge your relationship in public
Has he ever introduced you as his partner when you run into people he knows? Or do you get stuck with a vague “this is my friend”, or even worse, no introduction at all?
3. He keeps asking you for nudes
No matter the time of day, or your mood, the man is constantly begging for nudes. Just send him a box of noodles and be done with the douchebag.
4. He loses interest after “the chase” is done
Did he go from lavishing you with attention and affection in week one to mono-syllable replies within month one? Yep, he was enjoying the chase.
5. He keeps blowing you off at the last minute
He makes plans and then cancels; and this happens when he’s the one bothering to initiate the plan in the first place.
6. He keeps gaslighting you when you call him out on it
Ask him why he’s so distant or afraid to commit, and he’ll make you feel like you’re crazy!
7. He has that one ex who broke his heart and he can “never get over”
Aah, the tried-and-tested “ex” excuse. That one person who allegedly broke his heart and made him never trust in love and relationships again. Sigh.
8. He remains ambiguous when you ask about other people
Ask him if he’s flirting with anyone else and he’ll either shut down the whole conversation or leave you with a “look, it’s not a big deal okay”. He’ll avoid a straight-up denial because he doesn’t want you to tag him as a two-timer.
9. He never posts a photo of you on social media
Forget posting a photo of/with you on his socials, he probably won’t even “like” or “comment” on any of your posts. Unless it’s a thirst trap. For those, he’ll make an exception. When you call him out on it, he’ll just say that he doesn’t “feel the need” to share his “personal life” with the world.
10. He flirts with other girls in front of you
There’s nothing wrong with some harmless flirting here and there (as Monica tells an aggravated Chandler in FRIENDS), but constantly hitting on other women in front of you? That’s a top-tier relationship red flag right there.
11. Your homies don’t like him
Your family and friends can’t abide the guy — and even if you’re feeling a bit rebellious, I’d listen to them. They always see what you refuse to see.
12. His friends don’t know about you
You’ve been dating for a while but he keeps putting off meet-and-greets with his friends. Even you know it somewhere in your heart — no one’s busy for that long.
13. He makes you feel guilty for doubting him
If he doesn’t make you feel like a crazy person for doubting him, it’s because he’s changed tactics and is busy making you feel guilty. “Do you really think I’m that sort of a person” is the standard go-to.
14. He usually hits you up at night
If he’s barely responsive or making any effort through the day, but then goes ahead and hits you up to come over at night — and this becomes a pattern — you should know you’re dating a f**kboi.
15. His f**kboi antenna goes up every time you try to move on
Has he come barreling back into your life the moment you’ve made up your mind to end it? Or when he thinks you’re talking to another (read: nicer) guy? That f**ckboi antenna is as solid as Peter Parker’s spidey senses.
