Sexy, can I do that?
Sex is an important but sometimes complicated part of romantic relationships.
and from not having much of it To not using condoms when they do itThis seems to be something that Gen Z in particular struggles with.
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But several experts have shared common mistakes that can ruin the mood – and even the entire relationship.
If you've already taken these steps, don't worry: they also have their advice on how to remedy the situation and make things better.
Ignoring your partner's needs and boundaries
“Actions that ignore one partner's needs or boundaries become problematic,” says relationship coach Katie Flowers. told the Daily Mail,
“When intimacy becomes a one-sided experience, where the needs of one partner override the comfort or pleasure of the other, this can lead to isolation.”
Fortunately, the opposite is also true. Connecting and communicating with your partner will help both of you feel more comfortable to fully enjoy the experience.
“If you only think about yourself during sex and don't focus on your partner's pleasure, your intimacy can fall apart,” Annabelle Knight, sex and relationships expert at UK sex toy and lingerie retailer Lovehoney, told the Daily Mail.
For example, skipping foreplay and going straight into penetration can be a turnoff and make sex less enjoyable for both parties.
Sex is about more than just getting to the end goal — communicating and having fun beyond dirty talk.
Begging for sex
Cindy Gallop, campaigner and founder of sexual self-help site MakeLoveNotPorn, told the Daily Mail that “asking for something the other person doesn't want to do” and “talking about it” can also ruin the mood.
He said this usually happens when men harass women into anal sex.
“Men want anal sex. But you can't get anal sex if your partner doesn't want to try it,” Gallup said. “You can't get it by begging him, insisting 'everyone is doing it,' or even by sending him porn videos.”
Instead, the expert advised that focusing on the other person's happiness “in every constructive way possible” will likely make them more willing to take new steps with you.
“Make sure the sex you're having is completely normal.” [them]and is giving [them] such a good time, that [they] “We will be more and more open to exploring new experiences together,” Gallup said.
Thinking there's a right way to have sex
While there are definitely some wrong ways to have sex — as described above — there isn’t necessarily a right way.
“The biggest mistake people are making in the bedroom is that they think there's a 'right' way to have sex,” Knight said.
“It's easy to get caught up in worrying about 'performance' or that you're doing something 'wrong,' but remember that sex is all about connection and pleasure.”
People often compare their sex lives to others, but there's no set number for how often you should have sex.
As long as you are happy with how often you are applying it, that should be enough.
“There's a lot of pressure to have more sex, but honestly it's more about quality than quantity,” Knight said.
