The bells are ringing. The snow is shining. But you are disappointed.
You may be suffering from a case of the holiday blues, which experts say is not uncommon.
For example, strained relationships with family can make this time of year quite lonely.
Holidays are expensive, and financial distress can cause great stress. Worrying about anything during the holidays can promote depression and worsen existing mental health concerns.
“In some years many people may find the holidays more challenging than in years past,” said Sheelagh Mirgain, a psychologist at UW Health in Madison, Wisconsin. “It’s important to recognize the common humanity that other people are also struggling with.
“You are not alone.”
Here’s what the experts say you can do to make your holiday season a little more bearable, if not joyful.
If family time isn’t very fun, set limits
It’s hard to avoid spending more time with family during the holidays, but there are ways to make it a little easier, Mirgain said.
“Certainly this year, I think with the recent election, there’s a lot of division and discord, and you’ll probably have to interact with family members who have really opposing beliefs,” she said. “It can evoke strong emotions.”
Think about the boundaries you want to set: What kind of contact do you want to have with your family and how long are you willing to stay with them?
It’s also important to give yourself permission to exit the event and come up with some strategies, she said. For example, if you need some space, go for a walk or do some work.
And if a tense conversation does come up, have some language ready to draw your boundaries quickly and firmly.
“You can say, ‘Oh my gosh, thanks for asking, but I don’t talk politics during the holidays,'” Mirgain suggested.
If you’re sad or lonely, connect with others
The holidays can be hard for those who are grieving or who have no one to celebrate with.
“Loneliness and isolation can increase during the holiday season when you look around and it seems like everyone is getting together and you don’t have any plans, or you can’t wait to make your plans,” Mirgain said. Are.”
If you’re eager to connect with people, find ways to connect with people, like scheduling calls with people across the country or volunteering in your community.
“There are so many opportunities to give back during this time, and I think generosity is one of the best things we can do for our own well-being,” she said.
And if you’re grieving the death of someone close to you, the holidays may be the perfect time to reflect on that person’s legacy, said Dr. Ellen Lee, an geriatric psychiatrist at UC San Diego Health.
“Try to honor that person by visiting their grave site or doing something they really loved doing, and then find people to share those memories with,” Lee said. She also advises people not to suppress emotions but to allow themselves to be sad.
If money is worrying you, get in touch
Gifts, dinners, decorations — it’s all a lot to keep track of this time of year, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Those extra expenses and socializing can put more stress on your mental health.
For mild symptoms of depression, anxiety or mood problems, experts said, turn to tried-and-true self-care methods, like spending time doing something you enjoy or watching a movie.
But if you start to feel increasing financial worries or intense symptoms that are impairing your ability to function, it’s important to reach out for help. Early intervention can prevent them from exacerbating, Mirgain said. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, contact your provider. You can call or text 988 or chat at 988Lifeline.org.
If you’re overwhelmed, have realistic expectations
Remember, your holiday doesn’t have to be a Hallmark movie. Give yourself permission to do it differently this year, Lee said.
“We have a lot of goals, a lot of goals,” she said. “Getting all the gifts, getting the house all decorated…sometimes it’s helpful to focus on the most important part of it.”
This may look different depending on who you are: the most important part may be spending time with people you don’t see often, or having a good meal with your favorite food.
Lee emphasized that it’s OK to have low-key celebrations.
“I ask people, ‘What’s the best part of the holidays?'” she said, “It’s usually not about the decorations or all these extra things we all spend a lot of time worrying about. “
