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As a middle-aged single man, I'm more open to dating apps than I was in years past. Whether that's out of defiance or desperation or just to see what my ex-boyfriends are up to, I'm not exactly sure. But most of us are looking for love, whether we admit it or not, and dating apps are an entertaining way to sort out the worst contenders while sitting alone on the couch looking completely different than our profile photos.
So it was only a matter of time until someone thought of combining romance and sex with astrology (perhaps Scorpio). There is no shortage of dating apps that claim they can match you with lots of potential partners based on your planetary positions. Candidates include Ilios, Oromoon, Karma, Astrodita, Astrogether, NUIT (possibly the closest to Tinder), and Sample (In-depth horoscopes are unreliable).
But I don’t think we are using these astrology dating apps in the right way.
Assess your potential partner by their zodiac sign
Most astrology dating apps take a pretty comprehensive approach and let you look beyond someone's birth chart. Matching. You can find out by orientation, religion, height (tall girls, you understand), career (Only Jokeranyone?), and much more.
But honestly, are you swiping left based on what you think about them based on the numbers in their birth date?
Sure, it's tempting to turn your back on a zodiac sign after a disappointing night or a disastrous long-term relationship. Goodbye, adventurous but drama-loving Sagittarius! Don't tell me my Cancer is too emotional, logical Aquarius! Fool me once, charming but arrogant Gemini! (Actually, more than once…)
When someone makes me fall madly in love with them and then pretends nothing happened, I like it if there's someone else to blame other than me. It's a lot less self-defeating to think that the disaster of my previous dating life and subsequent heartbreak over high-end cheese was a result of something so arbitrary as someone's birthday.
Some of us argue that astrology makes dating easier. This includes my former dating self. There have been many times when I have rejected a large segment of the population as a dating partner simply because of their astrological signs.
But after more life experience, I can say that if you're looking at someone's dating profile and swiping left based solely on their zodiac sign, you're wrong. Do you see a real person in all their complexities? Or are you assuming they're little more than a logical Capricorn? A dreamy Pisces? A justice-seeking Libra? A sweet but sarcastic Cancer?
Understanding the subtleties of a person's planetary positions and the interrelationship between them is something AI cannot replicate. Not well. Not yet anyway. Also, how can you know if a match is truly based on planetary compatibility or some basic algorithm has fooled you without considering a person's position. Amount, Lilith PlacementOr North Node,
An algorithm can’t tell you whether someone will force you to listen to your terrible taste in music or remember to put the seat down on the toilet. It can’t tell you how a person’s experiences change them or whether they’re ready to accept their burden, let alone address it.
Nor can astrology do this.
What astrology can and can't tell you about potential partners
Dating is a complicated subject. So is astrology.
Yes, understanding the intricacies of someone's birth chart can give you insight into the deep, mysterious, surprising and bizarre aspects of their life that would otherwise go unnoticed until later, maybe much later.
Taking a look at someone's chart can give you insight into their aspects as well as their depth. And sometimes it can reveal tendencies and predispositions that are infinitely helpful in moving forward into a full-blown relationship.
But this in-depth analysis is unlikely to be suitable for your first choice. Two or three dates Needless to say, this is before you have even personally met the poor astrology-obsessed soul.
Also, it cannot account for the millions of circumstances that affect a person. We are constantly learning and evolving, every interaction contributes to who we become. Sure, your astrological sign can give you some insight, but even the stars cannot predict everything.
I swore to stay away from Geminis during my dating years. But I have friends who are Cancer and Gemini and have been in love with each other for years. A love that makes others uncomfortable.
I am in no way condoning attempts to know the birth time and place before things get too serious. An early warning is a warning. But avoiding the experience of knowing a person based on their zodiac sign already eliminates a twelfth of the population with each nakshatra. Sounds pretty debilitating, doesn't it?
In other words, if you didn’t grow up in the polyester-clad ’70s, you missed the entire experience of being approached in person by someone who asked you the embarrassing line, “Hey baby, What's your sign,
Still, we think it's okay to do this from a distance because of the distance of the screen.
Are you demanding too much from an astrology dating app?
If you're curious about astrology dating apps, definitely give them a try. I've done it too, and I support your right to try it out too. But do yourself a favor and base the direction of your swipe on something more than someone's hint.
The best way to get to know someone is to really get to know them. Like, in person. Scary, I know. Maybe before you jump on yet another app that tempts you with the promise of finding your soulmate, stop and think about what you're really expecting from online dating. And then ask yourself if anyone else can really deliver what you're looking for.
Who knows. Maybe I'll take my own advice and give Gemini another chance.
