Dear Abby: For the third time in my life, I am being abandoned by long-term friends. Over the years, I have spent a lot of time and effort keeping in touch with them. When we lived at the same place, we were very close. Ultimately, I moved away but always kept in touch.
This friendship has been going on for decades and since we rarely see each other, I can’t understand what could have happened to cause this. I know everyone has problems, but he doesn’t respond anymore and I’m extremely hurt by that. It only takes a few seconds to accept a text or email. Of course, if they have any difficulties I will be there for them in any way.
I would like to tell them, but I know it won’t solve anything, although it might be nice to get it off my chest. I’m finding it hard to let this go. What do you think I can do? It is hard to believe that they could be so cruel. -Lay down in Florida
Dear Let Down: Friendship doesn’t always last forever. Sometimes the bonds that bind people together begin to break. Geographic distance only adds to this. If I thought something positive would be achieved by firing these guys, I would say go ahead and do that, but it won’t. This would only justify the reason (if there is a reason) why they have moved on.
The healthiest thing you can do for yourself now is to accept that what you had in the past no longer exists and focus on building relationships closer to home with people who want to be friends with you.
Dear Abby: As a 70-year-old woman who has dedicated her nursing career to improving care for the elderly, I know what good care looks like. I have seen it and provided it. Good care occurs when “what matters most” to patients drives the entire treatment plan. It’s age-appropriate care that’s informed by the medications we take, how easily we move, our mood and memory, and our goals and priorities.
Unfortunately, we are not getting as good care as we should. A survey my organization conducted with Age Wave found that only 11% of older people give the American health care system a top grade. The survey also shows that we value our years, not our lives. This highlights a gap between the care older people want and the care they receive. The gap is most pronounced for people of color, women, and people living in rural areas.
Readers can learn about the care we want, deserve and can get http://www.jonahartford.org/crossroadsNow is the time to transform health care for seniors. I am optimistic that we can do this together. , Terry Fulmer, President, John A. Hartford Foundation
Dear Terry: Thanks for writing. I am impressed by how well funded and prudently managed your organization is.
Readers, in 2023, this organization will award $28 million in grants and another $2 million for research. His grantees included a wide range of think tanks, advocacy groups, hospital systems, and medical associations. If you’re looking for an opportunity to join, visit the website that Dr. Fulmer mentioned in his letter. If we want better aged care, we must all look at what it involves and how to ensure we get it.
PS I am not affiliated with Dr. Fulmer’s organization, or any of the organizations mentioned in my column.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
