Dear Abby: I am elderly and stuck in a miserable marriage. Romance has been going on for a long time. We live like roommates. If I die tomorrow I don’t think anyone will remember me. I am partially disabled and it is difficult for me to go out alone. Should I accept life as it is, or should I kick it out? – disappointment in texas
Dear Disappointment: If you are financially dependent on your husband or need his help with personal needs, I don’t recommend “kicking him out.” Contact your nearest senior center and ask what activities, including transportation, are offered in your community for seniors or people with disabilities. If you do, you may be pleasantly surprised to find that you’re not as isolated as you think.
Dear Abby: Some time ago, you published a letter from a grandmother who said she was changing her will because neither her adult children nor her grandchildren ever wrote her a thank-you note when sending gifts. I taught my son the importance of writing thank you notes, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of completing the process. I cut the letter from your column and sent it to him.
Son, what difference did it make? They recently got married, and several people have told me how many timely, heartfelt thank you notes they received and how much they were appreciated. Recently it was his birthday and he received a written thank you letter from everyone who wished him.
Abby, please continue to remind your readers about the importance of gratitude and kindness and what it means to others. The rights have gone out of hand. Handwritten thank you notes aren’t old fashioned. They lift up the heart of the giver. Thank you. -Tamara in California
Dear Tamara: The topic of thank you notes is one of the most common complaints I get from readers. Some people put off writing them because they have difficulty expressing themselves through the written word, they don’t know what to say or are afraid they will say the wrong thing.
I advise readers to keep a notebook with them when they open gifts Write down the first words that come to mind When they see what’s inside, For some reason, they mistakenly believe that thanks should be long and flowery, when in fact, short and to the point is more effective. Do they like color? Style? Is the gift something they were looking forward to? Write it down and use it for inspiration!
My Letters Booklet includes sample thank you notes for birthday gifts, shower gifts, wedding gifts, and holiday gifts. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address and a check or money order for $8 (US funds) to: Dear Abby Letters Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You’ll find that it includes sample letters of congratulations as well as letters for difficult topics like losing a parent, spouse, or child. Many readers have told me that my booklet has served as a valuable tool in teaching their children basic good manners.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
