Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I recently bought our first home together. It has an outdoor kitchen and other features which she really likes.
I like it too, but have had some problems within the first month or two. Lately, he has been looking forward to having barbecues and get-togethers for his family.
He invites all the people I don’t know. I’m not comfortable being with people all the time. He does this to show off the house.
I’m tired of all these parties. Even though I have told him I am not comfortable, he still does it without asking me.
I have expressed my feelings and concerns, but he doesn’t care. I am a private person and like to enjoy my own home.
We had a housewarming party, but he always wants more.
I dont know what to do anymore. He gets upset, and I’m always busy cooking and cleaning.
To them, I am a party-goer and a badass. I just want my voice to be heard and not be so selfish and pretentious.
I also want him to think about my family. How do I cope with this? – Party Pooper in the West
Dear Party Pooper: One step in the right direction would be to stop playing the role of cook and unpaid maid. Your inconsiderate boyfriend knows you don’t like doing this, so draw the line.
Tell him that you don’t like being ignored and that you won’t tolerate the situation he creates.
If he refuses to compromise, talk to a lawyer about a plan to buy your half of the house. No law says this has to be your future.
Dear Abby: I was recently contacted by child protective services in another state regarding a great-grandchild I knew nothing about.
Of course, they were hoping for placement or financial assistance for the boy, who is 10 years old. I am 62 years old. I am not in a position to take care of him physically or financially.
The boy is my brother’s grandson. When my brother and his wife divorced, she disappeared with the children. For 35 years I have not received any contact or information regarding my niece and nephew.
Now this child is in need. Would it be a good idea to ask if I can write to this child? I will be able to send birthday, Christmas gifts and letters, but it is not possible to give him full-time care. – Confused Big Aunt
Dear great-grandmother: There is a lot of detail left in your letter. Where are this boy’s father and mother? Are they in captivity or dead? Where is your brother, the child’s grandfather?
Whether or not to initiate contact with this newly discovered relative and send him or her cards and gifts may depend on what kind of life situation he or she is in.
Also, are you absolutely sure that the person who contacted you is actually from Child Protective Services, as it could be a scam.
Do not do anything until you talk to other family members and verify the authenticity of the information received.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
