Dear Abby: My daughter, “Virginia”, age 27, lives on the East Coast with her boyfriend “Ray” and teaches kindergarten. Last month, she confessed that she caught him cheating on her. He looked at the messages on her phone.
When she confronted him, Ray immediately confessed and apologized profusely, but he also had the woman’s number in his phone.
Ray will soon be moving to another state, and her job will be over in about three weeks. Virginia is seriously considering moving in with him and has even mentioned marriage.
His mother and I are divorced due to his mother’s infidelity, but we have agreed that we would advise him not to stay with her.
Although he took responsibility, cheating is devastating in any serious relationship.
I have been in frequent contact with Virginia via email, but sometimes she stops communicating.
I’m not being rude, but I asked him why Ray would keep another woman’s number unless he wanted to stay in touch with her.
Can you think of anything else a concerned father could do to help the situation? Apparently, Virginia can ignore parental advice and do what she wants.
I’m also thinking about what I can say to Ray the next time I meet him. I neither want to discount him nor condemn him as a monster. – Strong Dad in California
Dear Dad: If possible, talk to your daughter face to face. Let her know that, as an adult, she can do whatever she wants, but as a caring parent, you cannot remain silent.
remind him that Kept the number of another woman, Which means he intends to contact her at some point.
Explain that, to you, this means he is less committed to your daughter than he should be.
As far as what you can say to Virginia’s boyfriend, tell him that you are disgusted by his selfishness and dishonesty, and that he does not deserve your daughter.
If you have any other thoughts on this topic that you would like to share, feel free to express them.
Dear Abby: What would you say about a man who offered his wife’s siblings an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, knowing that his wife would not consider going on such a trip due to mobility issues?
Full disclosure: The spouses have been to Paris before (when the wife was well), but the husband feels the need to go again and has no one else to go with.
His wife would be left alone at home to fend for herself. Somehow, this whole deal leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Please set me straight. – Homebody in North Carolina
Dear family: People with physical disabilities travel internationally all the time.
If the husband has the money to take his wife’s siblings on an all-expenses paid trip to Paris, he can certainly afford to take his wife. and a caregiver With him on that trip down memory lane.
This way, she will be taken care of and will still be able to enjoy the trip to the fullest. Didn’t anyone suggest this except me?
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
