Dear Abby: My fiancee and I have been together for 14 years. A few months ago, her mom told us that she inherited a house that belonged to her parents, and she wanted to gift This for us. I was skeptical because any gift from him comes with a lot of strings attached.
We were told it would take a few months to get the paperwork sorted out, so in the meantime, can we help maintain the property until we move in? We agreed, but she decides the day and time. My fiancé and I take two days off each week. On one of them, we are together, and on the other we are not. We planned it this way.
Well, since he is helping with maintenance, my fiance’s mother has insisted that this work be done on our day off. She says this is because her husband also lives outside. Am I wrong to be upset that my fiancé chose to nurse on “our” day off vs. his day off? This has been continuous for the last three or four weeks.
I called his mother and asked if he could come on his day off. Her response was, “Oh well, you’ll be here soon, and he can do that anytime,” but she also said that her husband would still come over to help, which makes me think it would be something like this. Which I will always deal with. , any advice? – connected wires in the south
dear telegram: Grit your teeth, count your blessings and accept reality. It won’t last forever, and in the end, you’ll be richer for it.
Dear Abby: I am 49 and recently divorced, and during the divorce I had to live with my mother for several months. During this time she made a budget for me, opened my mail and treated me like I was 5 years old. He has done this all his life. I have severe anxiety and that’s part of it too. For some reason, I can’t tell him to back off. Do you have any suggestions? – Adults are now in Florida
dear adult now: Yes, I’m sure. If you are still living with your mother, step As soon as possible or deliver your mail to the post office box. Since you are suffering from severe anxiety, consult a therapist who can help you control it as well as give you the tools to handle a possibly well-intentioned but overbearing mother. Then speak up and tell him how you feel.
Dear Abby:My daughter lives nearby. I have the privilege of spending a lot of time with his boys. We decided that they should experience the gift (as much as possible). We’ve been to children’s museums, gone snow tubing and hired a fishing guide. We’ve visited a bookstore to browse books for hours before choosing books, and taken them on dinner and lunch dates, special summer picnics, and hiking trips.
I think my grandchildren will remember the times we spent together more than the toys that break, get lost or outgrow them. What do you think? – More gift giving in Colorado
dear gift: I not only “think”, but I also Know You are right. The experiences they share with you are invaluable.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
