Dear Abby: As a 22-year-old gay man, I tried dating apps to no avail. A guy was 10 years older than me, ex-serviceman (Air Force) and was extremely clingy within the first few hours of texting. He said he “loved me very much,” “wanted a future with me,” etc.
Other people I tried to talk to never tried to keep the conversation going. I don’t know what to do. The few colleagues and friends I mentioned this to said I should only look at men of my own caste. I don’t care about caste. I have seen many men, regardless of caste, abusing their partners.
I care about the characteristics that make someone enjoyable to be around. What are his hobbies? What direction do they want to take their career? How do they work in the kitchen? Do they keep things clean? Besides that, I’m not much interested in parties, drinking, and casual sex.
I would love to find myself a guy, but where I am right now there aren’t many LGBTQ areas. I feel like I’m going to be alone for a lot longer than I expected. I’m trying to focus on school and work, but it would be nice to have someone special. any advice? , fail in north carolina
Dear Failure: Make sure you’re not using dating apps that are geared toward hookups. Instead, look for people who are ready for relationships. They are out there. Also, make it a priority to visit the nearest big city and visit an LGBTQ community center so you can meet new people with similar interests. Although I can’t guarantee that you’ll find romance, you may make some lasting friends.
Dear Abby: I have taken care of my elderly mother in my home for 15 years. I have four brothers who live out of state. It is becoming emotionally difficult and difficult for me to watch my mother age and the difficulties that come with it. My brother does not call or visit often. I remind them again and again to call mom regularly because they need contact, but again and again they fail us. We’re five hours away, but they only come once or twice a year.
In three months, I will be retiring early so I can move back to his state and be closer to him and Mom can see him and her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren more often. How do I stop being angry at them for not stepping up? I love mom and I happily sacrificed a lot, but I expected others to do better. – Disappointed Brother in Missouri
Dear brother: I understand your frustration, but have you considered that there may be circumstances in your brothers’ lives that draw their attention such as wives, families, and jobs that prevent them from being as present in their mother’s life as you are? Calm your anger. The steps you are taking may enable them – and their wives and children – to spend more time with him. However, before relocating, you should discuss this thoroughly with your siblings to ensure that what you expect will be met.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
