Dear Abby: Many members of my husband’s family disappointed us by not attending our daughter’s wedding. He had various work and other family obligations near the date of our event. “Save the date” cards were sent six months ago, but we were clearly low on their priority list. I expressed to my husband my desire to not send holiday cards this year because I no longer feel good about these family members.
Then, when I was traveling for work, she bought the cards, printed out a letter with the pictures, had both of us sign it, and sent it to most of her family and some of our mutual friends. The first I heard about it was from a friend who was thanking me for the card and photos a month later. I discussed it with my husband and apologized, but I’m still shocked and saddened. What do you think? , still angry
Dear still angry: Although you didn’t want to send holiday cards to relatives who didn’t attend your daughter’s wedding, your husband apparently didn’t feel the same way. He had the right to do what he did. Repeat after me: A wedding invitation is not a command demonstration. Now let it go.
Dear Abby: I have separated from my nephew and I feel bad that our relationship has deteriorated. We live in different states. He has a mental illness and refuses treatment.
As a professional who is respected at work and at home, I am distressed that my nephew is aggressive and disrespectful towards me in public and in private. How do I walk the path of reconciliation, and how does one know that self-protection is the only appropriate action? – sad uncle in florida
Dear Uncle: You are fortunate that you are geographically far away from your mentally ill nephew. It’s not up to you to make amends with him. Unless he receives psychiatric treatment for his illness, his behavior will not soften and there will be no reconciliation. In a case like this, self-protection is the most appropriate action.
Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I received a generous gift card to our favorite restaurant from my brother and sister-in-law. Next week all four of us are going there together for dinner. My question is about the etiquette of using such gift cards. Should we use it that night or plan not to use it? If we use it and it goes over, should we pay our brother’s bill? I know my brother won’t be upset or angry in any way, but I’m curious about the “right” way to handle this, and I would appreciate your advice. , wonder in the south
Dear Surprise: If my mail is any indication, some people get annoyed if they use a gift card instead of a credit card or cash with someone who’s splitting the bill. So it never hurts to ask this question to the person who is connecting with you First Going to the restaurant.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
