Dear Abby: I was with my ex-fiancé for 13 years. Shortly after she broke up with me, I found myself meeting her at a hotel. We have been seeing each other regularly, at least once a week. We go out and enjoy time together as if we are dating.
The disappointing thing is that he doesn’t want to tell me where he lives. He says that having “just his own place” is a comfort to him. It’s been one and a half years since our breakup. Whenever I ask about our situation, he says he doesn’t know what he wants.
Everything he does for me shows that he loves me and cares for me. It feels like we’re in this weird entanglement, almost like he’s dragging me along with him because he doesn’t say if he ever wants to get back together. He says, “Why can’t you enjoy what we’re doing?” I want more and better with him than before.
We were in a bad situation before and I didn’t treat her well. I was going through things and I took out my anger on him. In our time apart, now that I’m no longer a couple, I’ve worked on myself and got my life in order to become a happy and healthy person. I love her very much and am expecting even more from her. any advice? , Situation in California
Dear Status: When a person is secretive, he usually has something to hide. Because your ex refuses to give you his address (after a year and a half!), it’s possible that he has someone living there with him. Before your engagement ended, you demonstrated that you can misbehave when stressed. It’s understandable that he doesn’t want to risk another round of this.
From what you’ve written, he seems to be enjoying things as they are. he doesn’t want More. Because you do, you have to find someone who can give you the future you are looking for.
Dear Abby: I’m a straight male who likes to wear women’s biker shorts under my shorts and pants. In winter, I like to wear women’s leggings and stockings because they keep my legs warm. I love the way they feel too. No one knows about me doing this. I have been in a relationship for many years and my girlfriend doesn’t know. Is it okay to wear these things? , secret in new york
dear secretary: From your description, you have been defined as a closeted cross-dresser. By doing this you are not harming anyone. You’re far from the only person who enjoys it. Yes, it’s okay to continue as you are doing.
Dear Abby: I have a brother-in-law who likes to give me a kiss on the lips when I say hello or hug goodbye. My wife does not want the kiss and turns her head to the other side. He then proceeds to kiss her on the cheek, which she also doesn’t want, especially since he is such an open-mouthed abuser. He does the same with the other sisters-in-law and most of them turn their heads when he comes running with the pucker. How can we deal with this situation without hurting her feelings or embarrassing her? , smooched in wisconsin
Dear Smooched: Could it be clearer? People who are so insensitive that they fail to recognize when a kiss is unwanted need to be told outright that it is an altercation. If it “embarrasses” the kisser, that’s okay. (Yuck!)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
