Dear Abby: I have been with the same man for three years and we have been engaged for a year.
I love him with all my heart, but I just found out from a phone call that he is fooling around with men from the internet. I have also seen some messages in his email.
Does this mean he is bi and he never told me? I don’t know what to do. Please help me before I make a mistake. – hurt in love
Dear Sadness: This means that your fiancé is either bisexual or gay.
For the sake of both of you, let him know that you know what’s going on, because if he’s unfaithful now, the marriage vows won’t change that.
Ask your doctor to get tested for STDs, and then cancel the marriage so you can find a partner who is faithful—and he can find a relationship in which he can truly be himself.
Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for seven years. This is the second marriage for both of us. We have a good relationship and love each other.
Before we were married I told her that, although I liked animals, I didn’t want pets. She is an animal lover and is now pressuring me to get a small dog. She’s hoping I’ll change my position, but I won’t.
She told me this morning that she had to leave me and find someone who wanted a pet.
I told her I understood and would accept her decision. Now I need guidance because I realized that a dog is more important to him than our relationship. Please help. – angry in indiana
Dear angry: I wish you had explained why you feel so strongly about not having a (small) dog in your home.
You and your wife need more mediation than I can explain in a letter. A marriage counselor may be able to help you communicate with each other more effectively than you can on your own.
It was wrong of him to give you a quasi-ultimatum, but it indicates to me that the two of you may have more problems to solve than having a dog.
Dear Abby: Due to our son-in-law’s job, our daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren live in Australia.
A grandson will be going to his Bar Mitzvah soon, and our daughter is asking us to send her a list of her friends so she can send them invitations.
Since going to Australia is such a long and expensive trip, we are pretty sure none of our friends will attend and will treat the invitation as a request for a gift.
Should we send her the list she is requesting? – Confused Grandparents
Dear Grandparents: As you mentioned, I’m against sending an invitation to someone who is not a close relative of yours.
Due to distance, it Desire Bidding takes place for gifts or money.
A diplomatic way to break the news of your grandson’s rite of passage would be to share it verbally with friends – who might then volunteer that they would like to send something to the boy.
Perhaps the feedback you receive can shape the invitation list.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
