Tash Oakes is “sick and tired” of the stigma associated with not having many friends in 2024.
It is no secret Generation Z is a lonely generation. While they are incredibly connected through social media, they still crave human connection.
A recent survey by youth organization Year13, which interviewed Australians between the ages of 18 and 24, found that 60 per cent revealed they struggled to make friends.
The report found most Gen Z’ers had just three close friends, with 80 percent revealing that tight circle formed a major part of their support network.
Oakes, 27, said she’s struggled her entire life to make friends, and she’s sick of the assumption that if you don’t have many, that must mean there’s something wrong with you or you’re a bad friend.
She said that she thinks women can be “toxic” towards other women who don’t have many friends and use it as a put-down.
Oakes said she was frustrated to see women posting content on TikTok and saying things such as: “When you find out the reason why the girl who has no friends has no friends.”
Instagram/NatashaOakes
“It is heartbreaking, and it feels like a personal attack on me because I’ve struggled to make friends my whole life,” she said.
She explained she’s never had consistent friends for long periods of time, and often, people only stay in her life for a season or so. She’s desperate to change this, but worries people will judge her for not having enough friends in the first place.
“I’m trying to be confident to find my people,” she said.
“The ideology that spreads that if you don’t have friends that you’re worthy of having friends or people should want to steer clear of you is stopping me from achieving my goals and I’m afraid to go after what I need.
“If people don’t have large groups of friends or any friends. Let’s not jump to conclusions on why that is,” she said.
Psychologist Carly Dober said loneliness in Australia is at epidemic levels and far more common than people think because no one talks about it.
“People will not be forthcoming with how lonely they are because it is seen as a feeling that is taboo,” Ms Dober said.
“Young Australians feel more lonely than their parents or grandparents did. The loss of third places for people to congregate and socialise outside of work and school have been decimated, and young people are working more than ever with less money and time to play, explore, and connect,” she explained.
Dober said that often, we lose friends or don’t have as many friends as we get older because we are going through periods of change.
“We tend to have less time to hang out with friends, and maintaining existing connections and making new social connections as adults is the next challenge,” she explained.
“We also tend to engage in upward comparison, and social media can make this occur more frequently for some. I often remind people that social media is a highlight reel.”
Oake’s social media post struck a chord with young people, who quickly replied and shared their similar struggles.
“Making friends is hard! I’ve given up,” one admitted.
“As a girl with no friends I feel this in my soul,” another wrote.
“I’ve never had friends for long periods, and now I have none,” another shared.
“I struggle to find my people,” someone else wrote.
