As if the anxiety of getting to the Hamptons, Hudson Valley, Berkshires, Jersey Shore or a plethora of other destinations for a weekend away from one’s normal life isn’t enough, there’s the added agita of the hostess gift. And there are about as many philosophies of gifting as there are gifts. Some arrive with said offering, others gather intel and send a thoughtful something afterwards. But should said offering be a gift for the home, or something personal for the host?
We took an informal poll, and most hosts we interviewed said that decorative objects should be discouraged. “They think they have the ‘perfect’ addition for my home and they always get it wrong,’” revealed a frequent Hamptons host who asked to remain anonymous. “Host gifts should be for the host, not the house,” noted another. This revelation threw our gifting strategy into a tailspin. No artisanal candles or coasters or ceramic something by a local maker who discovered pottery during Covid? Apparently not.
Luckily there were a few (and we suspect there are more) who would still welcome all of the above. Those options are included below, as well as a couple more spendy selections for family or friends who you may visit on the regular.
This gorgeous bottle of Ruinart Blanc de Blancs (a truly delicious creation from the oldest champagne house in the world) is shown as an example for the overall better-than-you’d-buy-yourself booze category. If your host is into bubbles, this is an excellent choice. But if you know they’d rather be on the receiving end of a scotch, mescal or gin, invest in a delicious upgrade to what normally lives on their bar. This Ruinart NV is about $100, Ruinart.com for stores.
No matter how well equipped your host’s kitchen may be, there’s a very good chance that their cheese presentation is accompanied by a very strange assortment of cutlery that has nothing to do with cutting or serving actual cheese. Save them from future embarrassment by foisting a set of proper cheese knives upon them. They come in every color, shape and material imaginable, and are relatively inexpensive. This very summery rattan-handled set is $45 at HomeNature.com, a beautiful store with outposts in Flatiron and Southampton.
We’ve noticed an influx of cocktail napkins with very witty one-liners and have personally seen them in action at parties. They are always a hit with guests (but if not a hit with your host, minimal investment and very regift-able). Hudson Grace has a fun selection including the ones shown here as well as other options including “Vodka Is Just Fun Water” and “I Have Mixed Drinks About Feelings.” $19 for 50 napkins at HudsonGrace.com (on Bleecker Street in the city and popping up at Sylvester & Co. Modern General in Sag Harbor this summer).
If drawing a blank on a gift for your host, but said host has a dog, your problem is solved. Simply buy a (non-edible) but very cute gift for the dog instead. This one, by Mr. Dog New York, tends to last much longer than any other dog toy we’ve gifted — it’s made of thick cotton canvas and features industrial grade rope, as well as a whimsical illustration by Alessandra Olanow. $24 at MrDogNewYork.com
It’s billed as the “world’s first performance cooler” and for good reason. Simply put: the Tempo gets three times colder than the competition and stays that way longer. Without ice. It will fit 36 cold cans of your favorite beverage in an almost-completely aluminum case that is significantly smaller than others for that type of volume. (If your cans aren’t cold, add their ice packs. The case will still fit the 36, with the packs). It’s also super-lightweight, great looking and keeps hot food hot. There’s a lot of science and a patent or two behind this design. It’s all detailed on their website. From $395 at OysterCooler.com
We’ve come across many a guest bathroom that was sorely lacking. Examples include a plethora of mis-matched mini bottles of now-congealed hotel shampoo and shower gel to a lack of blow dryer. If you’re a frequent guest who encounters this situation, we suggest making it your mission to more properly equip that space. A nice looking and smelling soap, shampoo or shower gel situation is a great place to start. Extra points for sourcing from their area. We like this particular option by Hudson Made. It features rosemary and eucalyptus oils, is free of all the bad stuff and packaged in a lovely letter-pressed box. Many other flavors are available. $18 at HudsonMadeNY.com
Another what’s-not-to-like gift is coffee. We like to source from a local shop or roaster, preferably something not normally in the host’s rotation. Jazz Hands, shown here, had us at hello. Besides the cheeky name, it’s a blend of the five best coffee beans and gives full body taste with low acidity. We can also attest that it makes a killer cold brew. Best yet, it and about a dozen other options from 2 Queens, is roasted upstate in Narrowsburg, New York. Not into coffee? Tea and local honey is also on offer both online and in their Narrowsburg café. $16 at 2QueensCoffee.com
There’s a certain person who is really into card games, and for that person collecting card decks has apparently become a thing. In this situation, a gift should upgrade their everyday, adding a special something they might not splurge on for themselves. Which led us to this set, by Dear Annabelle. It features weighty cards with gold foiling that feel great in the hand, packaged in a cute box with satin ribbon pull. Said box holds two custom-designed decks and is $80 at DearAnnabelle.com
Arrive with this book as a gift for your host’s kid, then delight in reading it the rest of the weekend. In it, author Eleanor Spicer Rice reveals exactly why our pets do certain things and what those things mean. So many fun facts. You might know why your dog sniffs every single thing on a walk. But do you know why he/she drags his/her butt on the ground? Or why cats do that super-slow blinking thing? Or why parrots dump their food all over the place? All of this, and a lot more, is answered in this fun and funny book, which also features delightful illustrations by NYC’s own Rob Wilson. Our biggest take-away: contrary to popular belief, goldfish have excellent memory. $17 at Amazon.com
Rather than get caught up in the “to candle or not to candle” gift debate, opt for nice matches. We’re seeing a lot of striker sets and can 100% get behind them as gifts. These are hand-poured concrete with a cork bottom and side striker pad. They come in eight colors, with 70 matches included, and are the brainchild of a cute family in Nashville (where they’re also made). $24 at Anthropologie.com
We’re told there’s no such thing as too much olive oil, and that it’s a win-win gift. It works for foodies, works for the friend who never turns on the oven, works for the stealth wealth set (who has people who turn on the oven for them). And you, as the guest, can very easily make your gift of olive oil a very personal one. Choose one from a favorite country or region, perhaps made by a friend or relative, and consider a flavored variety (Canaan offers chili, basil, lemon and garlic), or anything in especially nice packaging. From $24 at CanaanPalestine.com
Sometimes conversation flows. Sometimes it lags a bit. And for those moments, decks of cards with specific questions aimed at stimulating conversation can be incredibly helpful and fun. Some research may be required to choose one that is best for the intended recipient, because there really are so many options now. We’ve tried and enjoyed these by Bored Walk. They have different overall themes and, within the theme, ranges of intensity ranging from light to dark, so you can choose whatever seems appropriate for the crowd you’re with. From $28 at BoredWalk.com
Cocktail picks, like cheese knives, are items that most hosts do not own but can probably use. We don’t fault anyone for throwing an olive into a martini glass to remain sunken at the bottom, but we’d prefer to celebrate our chosen garnish, and do so in style. Cocktail picks, long ignored, now come in a myriad of styles for a gazillion occasions. Best yet, they take up almost no storage space and are exceedingly re-giftable. West Elm currently has a nice selection, from horse shoes to snakes, leopards, surfers and the divers shown here. $28 for a set of four at WestElm.com
Having a wonderful weekend? You could, and probably will, post non-stop. But it’s fleeting, and ironically not very social. Gift your host an instant camera and watch what happens. This one is clearly analog inspired, from its overall black and silver design to the way the film cartridge is inserted. It takes credit-card sized photos, automatically adjusts to available light and has the now requisite selfie mode. A case is available, but sold separately. From $99.95 at Amazon.com
