Whether you’re a homosexual man taking your first steps into the world of sex and desire or someone looking to experiment without attaching any labels to one’s self, gay sex can seem terribly exciting and particularly daunting in equal measure.
Am I doing it right? Is he enjoying it as well? Is this like how I’ve seen it? Is this too gay or gay enough? All these and many other questions popping into your mind aren’t anything out of the ordinary. It’s okay to feel nervous, it’s alright to be confused. Any kind of sex for the first time is tricky, and there’s a lot of exploration that we ought to do during the act so that we can do it better the next time.
Sex of any kind is personal and everyone does it differently. While we can’t tell you what to do and how to do it, there are certainly a few pointers you could use to ensure you feel a tad less nervous and a bit more sure of yourself as you go about having sex with another man for the first time.
1. There’s no such thing as too much lube
Gay sex offers many possibilities but natural lubrication ain’t one of them! If you’re interested in anal penetration, you must remember that, unlike the vagina, there’s no concept of the anus getting lubricated on its own. You need to keep lube handy and use it as often during the act as needed to avoid both chafing and pain and make the experience pleasurable for both partners.
2. You may think you know their body but you probably don’t
Two people of the same gender don’t always enjoy the same things. Just because you’re going to be with another man, don’t go into it thinking there won’t be any surprises in store. The same tools can be operated and used completely differently by another person, after all.
3. Don’t let pornography fool you
Your first gay sex experience (and even your subsequent stints) won’t be anything like what they’ve exhibited in pornography. You’ll have to spend some time figuring out your own body and that of your partner. It may not be instantly pleasurable and that’s fine. Don’t be in any rush and don’t expect to orgasm with ease.
4. Think pleasure, not positions
Don’t let preconceived notions about roles and positions get in the way of your experience. There’s no right way to have gay sex; there’s nothing you absolutely must do. Let your desire guide you instead. Let it take you to places you’ve never been to and do whatever it takes that makes you comfortable.
5. Don’t go overboard
You’d be surprised to know how many men feel the need to do exactly what their partner is doing to them and do it better. Don’t let gay sex become a game of one-upmanship — do as much as you’re comfortable with because only then will you enjoy the experience. Yes, keep your partner’s pleasure in mind as well but not at the cost of making it a chore for yourself.
