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Here’s why you should never tell your child ‘I’m so proud of you’



Stop praising your children.

This is according to the new trend”gentle parentingStyle – which includes never telling your children that you are “very proud” of them.

Rethinking old habits has come into the limelight recently after TikTok Video Mom Taylor Wolfe goes viral after instructing “Boomer” grandmother not to tell her grandson “I’m so proud of you.”

“Gentle” parents don’t tell their children that they are “proud” of them. Vadimguzhava – Stock.adobe.com
Parenting experts recommend using phrases like “You should be very proud” instead. Benin – Stock.adobe.com

“It’s putting the focus on you,” Wolfe explained in the clip, instructing the grandmother instead, “You should be proud.”

According to experts, the change in phrasing helps the child develop confidence in his or her own choices and behavior rather than relying on external validation.

Author Laura Markham previously told the outlet that overuse of the phrase “I’m proud of you” turns kids into “praise junkies,” or someone who constantly relies on the praise of others. today’s guardian,

She recommends phrases like, “You should feel very proud of yourself.”

According to Dr. Cara Goodwin, a licensed clinical psychologist and contributor yahoo newsResearch shows that “process praise” – or praising a child’s efforts or strategy in completing a task – actually boosts intrinsic motivation.

Experts say frequent use of phrases like “I’m so proud of you” can cause children to become “praise junkies,” relying on external validation. Crakenimages.com – Stock.adobe.com

On the other hand, according to Goodwin, “person praise”, which highlights qualities such as being beautiful or smart, can have the opposite effect, causing the child to focus on mistakes or blame themselves when they mess up.

Research also shows that praise should be specific, praising the child for good specific behavior rather than a generalized statement of praise. According to Goodwin, this helps the child understand how to act in the future.

Overall, this sometimes controversial parenting method focuses on respect, empathy, and boundaries in order to raise independent, happy children, a sharp contrast to traditional parenting methods that harshly punish missteps. and rewards good behavior. Instead of time-outs or yelling, “gentle” parents have conversations with their children that set expectations and explain why certain behaviors are not allowed.

Pediatrician Dr. Karen Estrella explained, “Gentle parenting as a parent means taking a pause and instead of yelling or screaming, you’re trying to help your children understand that What is happening.” cleveland clinic,

“It can be challenging to parent because when conflict happens, you get angry and you want to respond immediately,” she said.

For some people, technology is a non-starter.

recently, A woman posted in the online Reddit forum That his sister’s family has been banned from visiting his house due to “gentle parenting”. According to the anonymous Redditor, the sister displayed “zero discipline.”

“During the first two days of his stay, his daughter drew on my walls with crayons,” the user wrote online. “And his son uprooted the flowers I had recently planted in my garden and threw stones at my car parked on the way.”

“To top it all,” she added, “they both continued to pull my golden retriever’s hair and hit my dog ​​in the face.”



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