Every new mom has the right to get some rest after birthing a whole new human, but one mom’s question around whether she should help more at home has gone viral.
The 26-year old new mom, who already has a primary school age son, took to a popular forum to ask for advice after her husband said he needed more help from her — just two days after the birth.
This was especially challenging for the mom as she had already made it clear to her husband she wanted to follow the 5-5-5 rule: five days resting in bed, five days on the bed doing very little and the five days around bed, keeping activities to a minimum to allow for bonding and for her body to heal.
‘He wanted kids more than I did’
“He seemed to drag his feet but because he wanted kids more than I did, he agreed,” the mom wrote who then explained how she had envisioned the first 15 days planning out.
“After 10 days of proper rest I thought I could spend the last five resting, but doing light chores; folding laundry, changing diapers and just not standing for more than 30 minutes at a time.
“All while still cuddling with the baby, breastfeeding the baby, doing homework with my son and coloring etc.”
She explains that while the couple had prepared a month’s worth of freezer meals and her parents offered to help with the older son, things did not go to plan and cracks soon began to show.
‘He came to me crying’
“This baby is very colicky and my husband is the one having to get out of bed, walk around with her and sit in the rocking chair, do diapers and take her and our son on walks to get some sunshine.”
“Our older son has started acting out at home due to the stress of the new baby and lack of sleep, and we have a dog he needs to feed and take out for walks with the kids.”
“Today he came to me crying saying it was all too much and he couldn’t do this by himself. I reminded him that he agreed to it and I have to go back to work shortly after the 15 days are up, so I need to be as rested and healed as possible.”
The original poster then says her husband “begged her” to help out with the son and also help with some light cleaning such as wiping countertops and tidying.
But the new mom was adamant.
“I again said no, I am entitled to rest and I will help around the house in eight days.”
The many thousands of comments are mixed but on the whole feel she is ‘not the asshole’ in this instance.
One commenter asks the question of her husband: “Does he not believe that you just had a major medical trauma from which your body is trying to heal internal injuries?”
Another feels it is ridiculous he can’t keep on top of basic jobs at home while she rests and focuses on healing.
“Even if she’s physically capable of laundry, it’s embarrassing that he can’t handle super light house work and a kid who is potty trained.”
“And he’s not asking his in-laws for help. He is behaving with either malicious incompetence or learned helplessness.”
‘It’s time he took some responsibility’
The original poster confirms she has to return to work so soon because they need the money and she is the one who usually does “90 percent” of the duties at home.
“It’s time that he took some responsibility in his own house and began doing some chores,” concluded another respondent.
