Nothing divides people like wedding etiquette. We know wearing white is a mistake if you’re not the bride and some people take offense to the idea of listing bank details on invitations for cash transfers instead of gifts. Yes, that’s a thing.
But what about making guests pay for their wine at the reception? This is a hot topic that a lot of people are getting angry about this week online.
A bride living in Australia was asked this question at a wedding thread on redditWhere she explained the reasoning behind suggesting a cash-only bar for her upcoming wedding.
bride’s unique request
“Is it difficult to feed guests pay for your own drinksthe woman asked on the stage.
“I am getting married in eight and a half months and some people (on my and my fiance’s side) are very drunk. I’m a little worried that if paid for alcohol these people will take advantage and be horrible to be around.
“But I also don’t want to offend my other guests by thinking I’m being rude and mean.”
The woman said that although the idea of having a cash-only bar for guests was an option, she was offering a bottle of red and white wine at each table for her loved ones to enjoy – with limitations – and treated them too. Will go. A glass of punch on arrival.
What should I do?
The bride explained that she and her partner are from Canada and have been “common law for 7 and a half years” so they were not interested in having a huge wedding reception since they were already considered husbands. And wife. Instead, they were looking forward to a wedding to spend quality time with their nearest and dearest.
While stating that the “Tooney Bar” was also an option given its popularity in Canada (it is the trend for wedding guests to pay only $2 for a drink), the bride was concerned that she would find it cheap and “tacky”. Will be seen as because she doesn’t spend much money. On an open bar.
“These people who are intoxicated are not necessarily violent, but they can start verbal fights and yelling,” she explains.
“And no, not inviting is not an option because I would never accept it because generally they are nice people. One of them is my brother… who is a very drunkard and quarrelsome. They already weren’t invited to my sister’s wedding and even today they hate each other,” he added.
“Unfortunately my fiancé and I are not made of money, so I think having a full-on open bar and spending way over our budget for it is a crazy idea.
“We want people to have a good time, yes, but also to be responsible drinkers and we’re trying to encourage that.”
Is it difficult to ask guests to pay for their own wine?
As expected, comments posted on the thread were divided.
Some people were from the bride’s side and emphasized that this does not happen in all weddings open bar Which was paid for by the couple.
Someone commented, “I don’t think it’s necessary to provide alcohol, although I do think it’s important to communicate this information in advance to set expectations.”
Another agreed: “I’ve been to weddings with open bars and cash bars, this doesn’t bother me in any way.”
Others said that getting guests to pay for their alcohol was a difficult task.
“In my circle, it is very complicated. I’ve never been to a wedding with a cash bar,” someone said.
And another agreed that it would not make a good impression on the bride and groom.
“Please do not make your guests pay for any drinks. Drink only signature drinks and beer and wine. It’s cheaper and maybe they could charge according to consumption instead of open bar. It’s a little difficult to get guests to pay for anything,” he adds.
people will still drink
Meanwhile, others took to the comments section to highlight that paying for their own drinks won’t stop “drunkards” from getting “drunk.”
“A cash bar isn’t going to stop people from becoming belligerent if they’re going to do that,” one person said.
“I don’t think open bars or cash bars would make any difference as I believe the alcoholics you refer to are no longer getting a free supply of drinks every now and then,” another suggested. The first agreed: “My place actually requires couples to hire security. potentially unruly guests This also includes people who can’t control their alcohol, which I appreciate and don’t mind paying the extra expense for. Perhaps this is another option you could consider if your budget allows.”
Another follower agreed that the above idea seems to be the best option for the bridge and groom.
He stressed, “Cash bars don’t stop drunkenness, professional bartenders and security personnel do that.”
