Kate Middleton's brother, James Middleton, is sharing his mental health struggles in his upcoming memoir, “Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.”
James, 37, revealed in an excerpt from his book that he had had suicidal thoughts in the past as well Published by Daily Mail Friday.
He wrote, “Life is no longer worth living. I feel like committing suicide. I am considering ways to die so I can get off this dizzying roller-coaster that is taking me to the brink of insanity.”
James added, “I feel misunderstood; I have completely failed. I wouldn't wish that feeling of uselessness and frustration, isolation and loneliness on my worst enemy. I think I'm going mad.”
She added that she is “privileged” and “fortunate” to be with her “loving and close-knit family”, which includes her parents Carole and Michael Middleton, sisters Kate and Pippa, and brothers-in-law Prince William and James Matthews.
“But I push them all away,” James said. “I don't return their phone calls. Emails go ignored. Invitations to meet go unheeded. I hide behind a double-locked door where no one can reach me.”
The Princess of Wales' brother recalled that he was going through his darkest phase one night in November 2017, when he thought of committing suicide by jumping from the roof of a building in London.
He wrote, “So many thoughts come into my mind. What can I do to stop them? I think of jumping off the roof. Who will find me? A taxi-driver? A neighbour?”
“I wonder, if I jump, could it possibly be considered a tragic accident? That way my family, although they would be extremely sad, would be spared the additional agony of knowing that I ended my life by suicide.”
But James said his dog Ella inspired him not to attempt suicide.
“I imagine myself without her, and the chain of thoughts forces me to stop,” he shared. “What would Ella do without me? She depends on me and I on her. The feeling is completely mutual.”
“What will happen to Ella if I die? How long will she wait alone in the flat for someone to find her? I have loved her with all my heart ever since she was a tiny, blind, newborn puppy. She has been my companion, my hope, my support in my bad days. She has loved me unconditionally, honestly.”
He added, “She's the reason I don't take that fatal leap. She's Ella, the dog who saved my life.”
Ella sadly passed away in January 2023.
James shared the news InstagramHe wrote, “I am very sad to inform you that my beloved Ella has passed away. For 15 years Ella was with me, from my worst days to my happiest days. I will miss her very much.”
The youngest Middleton sibling currently has six other dogs with his wife Alizee Thevenet. The couple welcomed their first child, son Indigo, in October 2023.
James' memoir will be published on September 24.
People struggling with suicidal thoughts can call or text the Suicide Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 988. Go Suicide PreventionLifeline.org,For support.
