Trigger warning: This article contains descriptions of domestic violence
Radio host Kyle Sandilands has opened up about being raised in a household where “horrific” domestic violence was a common occurrence.
He has recounted some of the disturbing memories that remain with him “as if it just happened half an hour ago”.
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WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: Kyle Sandilands reveals traumatic past with domestic violence.
And he revealed he would be speaking to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on Thursday to critique the new Helping women leave a violent partner payment.
Earlier this week, the 52-year-old suggested the need for a safe haven for women, spelling out the complexities of practical support for women escaping violence, and relating the experiences of his formative years.
“I grew up in this situation,” Sandilands told listeners of The Kyle & Jackie O Show on Monday.
“And still to this day if (there’s) a young mum like, let’s say, with two kids, getting the tripe flogged out of her on a regular basis, she’s got limited options. She’s financially hamstrung through the offender.
“She has the children, she has to leave everything she knows to get away from that horrific situation.
“I think the first thing we need to do is make the safe haven a place where a mum can get her kids at three in the morning, ring someone, get picked up and taken away and be safe.
“I think that’s where it should start, because that’s something we can do immediately.”
Sandilands’ comments come as the national conversation about domestic and family violence ramps up.
On Wednesday, national cabinet met to discuss gender violence in Australia, and Albanese revealed a new $5000 payment for women affected by domestic violence.
The radio host on Thursday criticised a potential flaw with the logistics of the payment, noting that many women in domestic violence relationships do not have the financial independence to access that kind of support.
“I’m going to ring the prime minister today … and say, look, what happens if the wife has got a joint bank account and that’s all she’s got? Like, you don’t want to put the $5000 into a joint bank account that the bloke has access to,” Sandilands said on his radio program on Thursday.
“Governments can sometimes try and do the right thing.
“But at the end of the day, the money must get to the victim, not stuck in some bank account somewhere.”
He detailed some of the harrowing scenes he witnessed as a young boy, which informed his comments on the government support package.
“You’ve got to remember that I was a young child living in a domestic violence situation with my little brother and my mother. My father would kick off. It was horrific,” he said.
“He grabbed my mother by the back of her hair with one hand, and ripped her out of the bath backwards and dragged her kicking and screaming down the hallway in front of two little kids.
“And I can still see that as if it just happened half an hour ago.”
Escaping the unforgettable
Sandilands also outlined some of the imaginative tactics he and his younger brother would employ as children, in their attempts to escape their brutal reality.
“I was only really little. And my brother, we’d go into my room, and I’d create a land of fantasy in my room with the matchbox cars, and they’d be screaming and things would be smashed,” Sandilands said.
“My little brother is four years younger. He’d hear some vase smash, and he’d get scared, and I’d be like, ‘Oh that’s thunder’, and I’d just try and make it part of the game that we played.”
Sandilands said he reconciled with his father before he died, and no longer likes to discuss the traumatic events that were once a regular occurrence.
“And I don’t like to bring this up because my father is dead now, and we fixed any problems we had and he apologised,” he said.
“But still, we had to live with it.
“These things, they don’t leave little minds. They are in your head forever.”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.
In an emergency, call 000.Advice and counselling for men concerned about their use of family violence: Men’s Referral Service, 1300 766 491.
