Olivia* is a mom to quadruplets aged two and has started taking them to swimming lessons a few times a week.
“This is their first year taking swimming lessons, and, at their age, the lessons require one-on-one with the child/adult as well as an instructor to teach,” she explained to Reddit.
“So me, my husband, and two of my husband’s friends came along. Unfortunately, all four of the kids got booked for the same time.”
“Nobody wants to see it”
At the lessons, all the other kids have their mothers or female guardians with them, and all of them wear shorts or shirt swimsuits, Olivia explains.
“My husband/his friends had trunks with no shirt, and I wore a two-piece,” she adds.
While the mom said it was “nothing bad” and “everything was well covered”, obviously, her stomach and back showed.
“I didn’t think it was a big deal, and I honestly didn’t even notice what everyone wore until probably three days in. And it was fine because everybody (including me) was modest,” she said.
However, when her kids finished their lessons one day last week, and everyone was getting changed to leave, a few mothers came up to her.
“They said they didn’t want to mention it earlier to make classes awkward, but they and a few other mothers were uncomfortable with how I was wearing a two-piece to the lessons,” she wrote.
“They suggested if I do another class with my kids here, I cover up my stomach because nobody wants to see it.”
“It”, she says, refers to her stretchmarks, of which she has more than average because she had quadruplets.
“I asked if they had an issue with how my husband/his friends didn’t wear a shirt at all, and they said they didn’t care because they didn’t have the ‘baby belly’ like I did,” the mom-of-four recounted. “Now I’m back home, and I can’t decide if they were being rude or just were honest. They made sure to tell me it wasn’t about the modesty, it was just my stomach. I never thought about it, so maybe it’s my fault for being careless and not thinking of everyone else. My husband says I was fine, but all the mothers there apparently don’t think so. AITA?”
“They’re insecure”
The top comment, with 14k likes, read: “NTA— of course they were being rude.
“Does everyone have an obligation to cover every body part that is different/damaged/unusual? ‘We were really uncomfortable seeing your burn scars and your face, so wear a burka, balaclava, or stay home. Think of the children!’ or ‘We know not everyone wears dark sunglasses or eye patches, but being blind, your eyes are kinda creepy looking and it bothers me. Thanks!’ or ‘Yeah, being fat while taking your two-year-old swimming, it just makes me feel icky because I’m scared of becoming fat, and even if you wear a prison jumpsuit swimming, I can see your double chin and hand dimples and they’re icky, so please dispose of your body at your earliest convenience. Thanks!’”
And another person reassured the mom, saying: “What you don’t like (or resist) about in others is often a reflection about what you don’t like about yourself, whether it’s warranted or not. When we look deeper into their rudeness it’s apparent that the moms are self conscious of their own bodies.
“They’re intimidated by OP being confident enough to let her stomach show. They wish they could. OP’s presence in a two piece, especially when accompanied by an entourage of men, puts a spotlight on both her confidence and their insecurities.”
And a third called out a cruel irony. “It’s insane that it was MUMS who said that. I’m sure they have some stretch marks of their own, having birthed a child or two as well. Having an apron belly is normal if you’ve had a kid. They just suck.”
“I’d find every opportunity possible to show my stretch marks off to those women if I ever saw them again after that,” a fourth user suggested.
