11 Things to Ask Yourself Before Commenting On Social Media

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In recent years, I’ve been asked to manage several Instagram accounts for yoga-related brands (including Yoga Journal). As I began to explore the many posts and reels and stories from others in the community that draw attention to the remarkable and diverse approaches to yoga, there has been one thing that has stood out: the overwhelming number of critical, judgmental, and negative comments on social media related to yoga.

Given that the tradition of yoga is based on compassion for self as well as others, it’s disappointing to see just how much negativity, judgment, shaming, oneupmanship, and spiritual bypassing is happening everywhere in the community. There’s finger-pointing in all directions among all types of self-professed seekers.

This leads not only to a divisiveness among us but a pervasive disconnect between the teachings of yoga and what’s taking place in these negative comments on social media. Many times, the commentary is based only on the observable aspects of someone’s practice or the way they present themselves.

Unfortunately, the very fact that yoga is, in part, a physical practice that can be observed seems to invite judgment around what others’ practice should and should not look like.

A Brief Definition of Yoga

No two bodies or souls experience yoga in the same exact way yet it is all the same practice. The tradition of yoga does not teach comparing, debating right and wrong, seeking validation, or demanding attention. Yoga means, among other things, acting from a place of awareness of and respect for self and others. When we ensure that our words and actions come from that space, we contribute to connectedness and belonging. This is true even as we express disagreement.

We have so many opportunities to be curious about and learn from someone’s else’s experience. Social media offers us that potential. Unfortunately, what I often see instead is a tendency to discredit or dismiss another person’s approach.

But there is no way to know another person’s experience. The person who posted themselves in Handstand might have spent years confronting soul-crushing self-doubt as they practiced coming into the inversion. The person who triumphantly shared how they sat quietly in meditation for two minutes might have initially struggled to be still for five seconds. There is space for individual variance as we respect the principles of yoga. One person’s two-minute sit is another person’s two-week silent retreat.

Yoga is a practice of awareness—including the good and the not so good. Many in the community tend to preach peace and love yet then judge whether someone else is emphasizing the postures at the expense of the other aspects of yoga. Even those individuals who claim extensive knowledge of yoga teachings are among those who contribute significantly to a sense of exclusion and othering.

So I think it’s fair to issue a call to action for all of us to become more aware. Can we approach our comments in the same way?

11 Things to Ask Yourself Before Leaving Negative Comments on Social Media

We emphasize mindfulness during our physical practice of yoga.

1. Do I Need to Comment?

When we encounter someone cueing a pose or teaching a transition in a way that’s unfamiliar to us or doesn’t align with our experience, we might instinctively think, “I have to say something.”

Do you?

Sharing your own experience can be powerful…as long as it isn’t at the expense of others. Does what you have to say add another perspective to the conversation? Or do you feel what you have to say is more important than what others have voiced?

2. Why Do I Want to Comment?

Imagine someone posts a yoga pose and shares one method for getting into the posture. It’s crucial to recognize that what may work for one practitioner may not be suitable for another due to differences in body types, flexibility, and experience levels.

Instead of undermining the approach shared in a post, what if we contribute positively by offering alternative techniques that have proven effective for various individuals? This would add to the conversation instead of detracting from what someone has shared.

3. Is My Response Based on My Emotions?

Our initial reaction to a post might not be in response to what was expressed. It may be in response to our perception or misinterpretation of what was said. Or our response could be related to a similar experience that holds an emotional charge for us.

But that might not be apparent at the moment. Pause before responding. Can you figure out what you’re feeling? Is it anger, defensiveness, self-doubt, shame, envy, superiority, even pity? Does what you’re about to write intend to understand another’s perspective or is your response fueled by a need to express or cathart your emotions? Practicing the RAIN technique of meditation may be helpful.

Managing your emotional reactions can yield a more thoughtful response. It may even prompt you to decide that you don’t need to respond.

4. Am I Making Assumptions?

We can never truly know what it is like to experience life from the perspective of another human—to know their feelings, thought processes, intentions, past experiences, and current situations. Yet we often think we know everything about their reasons for sharing a post.

Whenever we create a story based on the smallest amount of information available from a photo, video, or a caption, it can be misguided at best. It reduces someone to what you assume you know about them via the narrow and limited lens of social media. Maybe someone teaches yoga therapeutically but has a different style of personal practice that they share on social media. Does that mean that they don’t value accessibility?

5. Are My Assumptions Based on Stereotypes?

Our responses can be unconsciously informed by the perceptions that we associate with a certain body type, age, ethnicity, socioeconomic situation, and other visible things. In the yoga community, stereotypes also tend to be based on the poses a person practices or the attire they choose. If the person is a teacher, the checklist for potential outrage can include the style or school of yoga they teach, their training, how long they’ve been teaching, their cues, and so much more.

Can you deliver your message without making assumptions that place others in a different standing than yourself? This bias toward judgment can be uncomfortable to observe in ourselves. And it’s exactly the kind of self-awareness that is intended as an outcome of yoga. Especially for teachers, it is essential that we take a step back and examine our own biases in order to better serve others. To fall into stereotyped thinking is one thing. To act out on it is something entirely different.

6. Am I Intending to Be Helpful?

When information that could be helpful is shared in a manner that’s derogatory or defensive, the entire dynamic changes.

For example, if you’re concerned that a post explaining how to come into a pose could potentially cause harm to certain bodies, is it your intention to add that insight in a thoughtful and constructive manner? Or do you want to angrily call someone out on their perceived lack of knowledge or draw some recognition for what you think that you know or hold someone accountable for what you feel is misinformation?

You may think your intention is to inform others of right versus wrong. But what’s behind that need to be seen or heard? Recognizing your intention is the first step. Maybe your thoughts become a privately shared direct message rather than a very public negative comment on social media.

7. Have I Tried to Understand the Other’s Person’s Perspective?

Our hastily written words can easily demean, disregard, and dismiss the time, thought, and vulnerability of the individual who shared that content, whether or not that’s our intention.

If you find yourself reacting and wanting to comment before you’ve finished reading the entire post, pause for a moment. Literally put your phone down or step away from your keyboard. Then read it again, from start to finish, with the intention to understand rather than respond.

If you still feel the need to say something, try restating what you took away from the post in a comment and ask if that’s the intended meaning. Listen to the response before you comment again—or you may even decide not to respond at all.

8. Does What I Say Respect the Origins of Yoga?

This question is complex. Many of us, including teachers who have trained in traditional lineages, have a drastically limited understanding of yoga tradition and history and unknowingly stray from it in our practices and teaching.

Ask yourself whether what you are about to assert honors the indigenous roots of the practice while not engaging in appropriation, tokening, spiritual bypassing, or othering. If you’re uncertain, there are ample resources to become more educated on the origins of yoga.

There are also contemporary applications of the ancient philosophy. Many of us also like to think that tradition and exploration can coexist. What does it look like to be respectful of others’ experiences and beliefs? Can we allow witnessing others’ interpretations of yoga to evolve our knowledge?

9. Am I Remaining Open-Minded?

It can be dangerous to practice and teach something because we believe there is only one way that we are supposed to approach or because it is what our teachers have labeled as right versus wrong. Curiosity is fundamental.

You may see someone teaching asana in a way that is different from how you were taught. Does that make either way incorrect? Certainly not. Although it does create an opportunity to learn something that could add to your understanding and knowledge.

10. If I’m Asking a Question, Is It Actually a Question?

Consider whether what you’re about to type is actually a statement with a question mark at the end—and perhaps an undercurrent or overt overtone of judgment.

If you’re uncertain, ask whether you’re curious to learn from the expertise of someone else or whether you intend to point out something you think you already know and, in so doing, set someone else up for critique or failure.

11. Is the Answer to My Question Already There?

Sometimes the answer to your quickly formed question is already present in the post and you simply need to read it more carefully or completely before being hasty in your demand for answers. Do your own work before demanding another person’s time and attention.

If you decide to ask your question, you may find that exactly what you’re asking changes after a closer read of the post.

How to Engage in “Wise Speech”

In her book Radical Acceptance, meditation teacher, psychologist, and author Tara Brach wrote “Wise speech expresses reverence for life, as speaking only what is true and what is helpful. Yet caught as we are in reacting to each other out of wanting and fear, how do we recognize what is true? How do we discern what is helpful?”

Brach concluded by asking us to consider what it means to speak—and listen—from a place of compassion. Perhaps before leaving negative comments on social media, we can each pause and ask ourselves if we have listened with the intent to understand and reconsider whether a response is even necessary.