It was one of the crowning achievements of Nicole Kidman’s professional life — but behind the scenes, she was in a world of pain after her 2003 Oscar win.
The 56-year-old Australian actress has opened up in a surprisingly candid interview about the breakdown of her marriage to Tom Cruise just as her career was skyrocketing.
WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: Sonia Kruger with Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban at the Oscars.
Stream the world’s best reality, entertainment and true crime shows for free on 7Bravo on 7plus >>
After winning the Best Actress Oscar for her portrayal of writer Virginia Woolf in The Hours, she should have been on cloud nine.
The reality? Smiling through tears, gritting her teeth through an after-party and sitting on the floor of a hotel room, feeling lonely as she dined in on fast food.
Speaking to author Dave Karger for his upcoming book 50 Oscar Nights, the actress said she had only just finalised her divorce from Tom Cruise when she won the Oscar and was feeling incredibly glum.
She broke down in tears during her acceptance speech, despite another famous Aussie actor advising her not to cry if she won.
“Russell Crowe said don’t cry when you get up there, and now I’m crying,” Kidman, then 35, told the audience.
Speaking to Karger, Kidman revealed: “I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well. That’s what happens, right?”
Kidman also recalled her dismay at having to go to the Vanity Fair after-party, when all she wanted to do was go home.
“I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award’,” she said.
“I said, ‘That just feels like gloating, and it doesn’t feel humble.’
“Like, what? You can’t walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate.
“They’re like, ‘That’s what you do’.”
So she reluctantly attended, briefly posing for the cameras before making a quick exit.
Kidman told Karger she regretted not being able to enjoy the moment more.
“I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it,” she said.
“I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid.
“I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”
Back at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Kidman ordered takeout, sat on the floor with her family eating a burger and chips, and went to bed early.
“That’s when it hit me. I went, I need to find my love; I need a love in my life,” she said.
“Because this is supposed to be when you go, ‘This is ours’.
“I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight.
“If I ever won again, I’m telling you, I’d be out for 24 hours.”
The gong for The Hours has been Kidman’s only Oscar win to date, despite being nominated for three other films — Rabbit Hole (2011), Lion (2017) and Being the Ricardos (2022).
But two years on from that sad night, Kidman did find her long-term love — country rocker Keith Urban, to whom she has been married for 17 years.
The couple share two children, daughters Sunday Rose, 15, and Faith Margaret, 13.
Kidman also shares two children with Tom Cruise — daughter Isabella, whom they adopted in 1992, and son Connor, whom they adopted in 1995.
For more engaging celebrity content, visit 7Life on Facebook.
