Jessie* is a nurse who works overnight at a hospital.
There is a colleague in her unit who is pregnant and about to go on maternity leave.
“She's nice, but very lazy,” admitted Jesse Reddit's AITA forum.
“Some of my other coworkers thought it would be a nice idea to host a baby shower for her before she leaves on vacation. We all contributed $30-40 and some contributed a little more to buy decorations, cards, cake, pizza, homemade food, pastries, drinks, plates/cups/utensils, etc.”
“The girls who made it all happen spent hours decorating the break room and making food. It was really nice, even though I'm not their closest friend.”
“I thought it was a joke”
A few days after the party, a pregnant coworker came to Jessie's workplace and asked if she had seen her baby registry on Amazon.
“I told him I didn't have it, but it's a good thing he has it,” Jesse said.
“Then she pulled out her phone and started showing me different items on the registry. She says, 'I just want to know who's buying me what so I can plan to buy other things I need for the baby.' She was scrolling through things like $70 nappy bags and $450 prams.”
At first, Jesse thought it was a “joke,” but when his coworker continued to point out things, he quickly realized it wasn't a joke.
She kept asking me if I was going to buy one of those. I was completely shocked to hear this. I told her, 'It's great that you have a registry for your family, but I've already paid for the party, so I'm not going to buy anything else.'
“She clearly objected to this and told me to let her know if I 'change my mind' and quietly walked away. A colleague of mine who overheard me said that it was a bit too straightforward with her, and that I should have been a bit kinder with my delivery since she is pregnant and buying something 'small' from the registry is not a big deal.”
“I heard other people say, 'Oh, that's cool, I'll look at the registry after work' or some more pleasant thing.”
But Jessie said she doesn't feel obligated to buy anything for her coworker, since she's already spent $40 on her shower “out of her kindness.”
“You are not obligated to use a baby registry”
Commenters were quick to support Jesy, with one person saying: “You have no obligation to go buy any of the gifts on that list. That baby shower thing is just like all the other stupid events our society forces us to do just to make sure we over-consume, that's all!”
“Why do people think that because a woman is pregnant, you can't put her in her place when she crosses a border?”
Another responded: “Also, pregnant or not… close friends or not… standing in front of anyone, showing them your registry for any occasion, and asking them what they're going to buy you from it is extremely gross. At that point you've lost the right to a polite response.”
“I feel weird telling my sister what I want for my birthday. She asks. I can't even imagine doing this shit. Oh my god. I get nervous just thinking about it,” a third claimed.
“NTA. And… being candid is refreshing. More people should be candid. If the recipient's feelings are hurt, too bad. Being candid ends the discussion quickly and there is no need for further explanation,” someone else agreed.
