A Tennessee mom says she doesn’t want to volunteer in her kids’ classrooms or for their extracurricular activities — and said she’s “found her community” after posting a video on TikTok explaining that she’s a proud “Venmo mom.”
“I don’t know about anyone else out there, but ‘Meet the Teacher’ is super stressful because I do not want to be involved at all,” Casey Neal, 31 and a mother of four, said in her video that has grabbed at least 450,000 views.
“I will make sure my kids obviously do their homework and get to school on time … but I don’t want to be on PTO, PTA, room mom, team mom — I don’t want to do any of that.”
Neal indicated that when the start of a school year or sports season rolls around, she gets ready to duck.
“I start getting real stressed when they start asking for volunteers,” Neal said in her video.
“I’m like, ‘Oh no, I know they’re judging me because I’m not raising my hand,’ but I don’t want to do all that extra sh–,” she said. “I don’t want to come in. I don’t want to set up.”
But she’s more than happy to Venmo money to help with whatever is needed, she said.
“If the room mom needs money for everyone to participate, fine. I’ll Venmo money right over,” Neal said in her video.
“I do not want to set up for it. I don’t want to do it.”
This year, to avoid the stress, she said she made that perfectly clear to all the classroom and team organizers.
Neal and her husband have four kids — ages 11, 7, 5 and 3 — who are involved in all kinds of activities, such as cheerleading, baseball, football and more.
“I even told one of the coaches today that I am a ‘Venmo mom,’” Neal said.
Neal, who worked as a district manager and ran five stores for Andy’s Frozen Custard until moving to Knoxville this year, said her job made it difficult for her to attend school functions during the work day.
And that didn’t seem to sit well with some people.
“When I wasn’t as involved as the other moms, I didn’t feel very welcome in certain situations,” Neal told Fox News Digital.
“My two youngest, they went to a private school before we moved, and they had a bike day, where you brought their bike or their scooter, and [some people] were like, ‘Oh, you’re not staying?’ Or, ‘Oh, you’re not staying for the party?’ I’m thinking, ‘Does nobody work anymore?’”
Neal said she also had a bad experience with some cheer moms a couple of years ago.
“Their practices are two to three hours long,” Neal said.
“So I just come back and pick up [her daughter] when practice is over. There was a mom who was talking very poorly of me, and this is one of the practices I happened to go to. When she realized I was there, her face dropped. There was even a dad there who was, like, ‘Not cool.’”
Said Neal, “I don’t need that drama in my life or in my kids’ life.”
“We’re here to set examples, and if they’re talking poorly in front of all the parents, I’m sure some kids heard some stuff. I just don’t think that’s necessary.”
That’s when Neal realized she could avoid all the trouble and still help out by donating her money rather than her time.
Thousands of people agreed with her — all for their own reasons.
“I’ll literally pay for the entire event, just don’t make me actually go,” one viewer of Neal’s video said.
“This is so me. Just let me know how much money and I will send it,” another viewer said.
“As an introvert, please don’t ask me. I’ll send all the money and cheer in the audience, though,” another person commented.
“This. Can we normalize this?” another person commented.
“You need door prizes, meals donated, crafts? I’ll drop it at the office. I’m not staying,” another viewer stated.
What’s even more validating, Neal told Fox News Digital, are the comments of appreciation for “Venmo moms” by the ones organizing the events.
“There is a place for everyone,” one viewer commented.
“As a room mom and team mom, I can’t thank you enough for being a Venmo mom,” someone else added.
“As a room mom, I love Venmo moms,” another viewer said.
Neal said she now has a community of moms who are supportive of this behind-the-scenes role.
“Not to sound cheesy, but I just thought it was really beautiful,” Neal said.
“Never did I think my rant would go off. But the comments and women supporting each other in the comments and supporting me meant a lot. It takes all kinds of people doing all kinds of things,” she added.
“We’re all there for the same reason. We just contribute in different ways. I just thought it was really beautiful and positive.”
There were a few who disagreed with the notion of not giving time to an important cause, such as a child’s education experience or extracurricular activities — and they didn’t mind saying so.
“I do want to be involved [because] I wish my mom was when I was a kid,” one viewer commented.
“Your kids would love to see you helping,” someone else said.
“I was a Venmo mom until I lost my son last year. This year I’m doing everything to be involved in my daughter’s life. Every moment counts,” another user wrote.
Others said that they didn’t really want to volunteer their time — but they’re willing to take one for the team.
“As a new PTA president, I don’t want to do it either, yet here we are,” another said.
“I don’t want to either. I do it to make sure my kids have the best experience [they] can. It’s not really about me at all,” someone else commented.
“My thoughts are if everyone felt like that, then the kids would have a sh—- experience in school,” another person said.
“So I suck it up and volunteer so the kids can have fun or whatever else it’s for.”
Neal said her kids love seeing her in the stands and they know she’s there to support them in all their activities.
“I love being on the sidelines. That, for me, is the biggest thing,” said Neal.
“But as far as being in charge, being a team mom, a room mom, I’m just not good at planning, and there are people who want to do that. I will get a teacher whatever they need to make them successful, to help make the class successful, but I just don’t want to be in charge.”
Neal added, “And the teen moms, they seem to have it under control. They don’t need me.”
