Warning: I'm about to share some top secrets about the world of women.
It's embarrassing, a little crazy, but 100 percent true. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only woman who does this. (I know, because every woman I asked confirmed my theory).
You see, the Notes app on our phones is home to all kinds of dirty details, but there's one specific type of draft text message that every woman has stored there (and grieved over) at some stage of her dating life.
It's top secret – but not today, dear reader. Because I'm pulling back the curtain, as it were, to reveal what we wrote… and it's not good for you guys. Not good at all.
Let me set the scenario for you.
It's 1 a.m. and you're tossing and turning in bed, the only light in your room being your phone, typing rapidly into your Notes app. You're not writing a new novel or a grocery list — you're writing the perfect breakup text.
Yes, break up the text. Because you can't send such texts without drafting, editing and rereading. You want to write them exactly the way they are.
It sounds a bit ridiculous and overly dramatic, but for many of us it’s a real midnight ritual.
Recently, when I was struggling with my own dating drama and thinking about sending the “it’s not you, it’s me” message (even though it definitely was him), I came to a realization.
The Notes app on our phones holds a secret repository of unfinished breakups, what-if scenarios, and emotional exorcisms.
What is it about those little texts that makes us feel compelled to write them even though we can’t bring ourselves to send them?
For me personally, I find them really calming. It's like writing down all my angry thoughts without lashing out at my current partner.
At 1 a.m., everything seems more dramatic than it really is. And that unanswered phone call or nasty comment about your outfit can play over and over in your mind until you're completely fed up and decide, no, it's time to end this.
The funny thing is, 9 times out of 10 you will read the draft the next morning and realize you sounded absolutely crazy, the problem wasn’t actually that serious and thank god you only drafted it and didn’t send it.
But look at any woman's phone and you'll find a strange draft text like the one I sent last week.
In fact, while scrolling through my phone I found three of those photos, all from various dating endeavors over the past few months and years.
Oh my god, one of these even included a quote from Gandhiji.
And here’s another secret I shouldn’t share… Often we send those draft texts to friends to get their opinion on whether we should send them or not.
They're always sent in the early hours of the morning because the existential crisis of dating outweighs the importance of sleep. Wake up dear bestie, there's drama to be resolved.
Most of the time you'll wake up the next morning to a “No! Don't send that” message from your friend, who will also tell you that you sound crazy.
But here's a question… if you're constantly writing breakup messages in your Notes app, is that a big red flag that this guy isn't your forever partner? Like, if you're constantly tossing and turning late at night and getting really annoyed by something he did, maybe we should send him a message.
Since I'm in the mood to share a lot, here are some other things you'll find in the Girls Notes app:
- The names of the men she has had sexual intercourse with.
- Names of the men she wishes to have sex with.
- Baby names – I have a list and I don't even want kids of my own.
- Business ideas.
- A list of sad movies to watch when she needs a good cry.
- Porn links are typically linked to good content that you know will work, if you know what I mean. What? It can't just be me…
So honestly, if Instagram is where we go to show off the best parts of our lives, the Notes app is where you’ll find the real you.
The part of us that melts away in the middle of the night, the part of us that needs to be reminded who we've slept with, and the manifestation list that includes everything from a dream wedding to a house with an ocean view.
So, my dear best friend, if I ever get caught in some tragic incident, please find my phone, step on it a million times and throw it into the deep ocean.
No one should ever see what's in my notes section. No one.
