A mum-of-one has revealed why she refuses to have another child, saying she doesn’t have ‘the room to love another child’.
27-year-old Alexandra Garrett always wanted to become a mother and when she found out that she was going to be a mother, she jumped with joy.
But the baby’s mother suffered from health concerns during the pregnancy, and was so ill that she couldn’t even eat for 24 weeks.
At 37 weeks, she was hospitalized with high blood pressure and had to have an emergency C-section to welcome little Emilia, 10 months old.
Her little girl is a “dream,” but Alexandra struggled with postpartum anxiety to the point where she was worried about driving Emilia on rough roads for fear of shaken baby syndrome.
Her health and finances have prevented Alexandra and her 28-year-old husband from wanting another child and she feels she does not have the “room” to love another child the way she loves Emilia.
The couple are not alone, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), where birth rates in England and Wales have fallen to their lowest since records began.
Alexandra, a primary school teacher from Belfast, Northern Ireland, said: “I don’t think I could love another child as much as I love her.
“I can’t see that there would be room for anyone else.
“I love that we only have one child.
“I don’t think there are any shortcomings in her life because she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters.
“He may need siblings but he needs his mother more.
“Why would I risk it?”
Alexandra had always wanted to be a mother and had thought she would have “one or two” children.
She said: “From a young age I was told that having children was inevitable.
“If you had asked me what I wanted when I grew up – it would have been to be a mother.”
Alexandra met her husband, who is one of six, when she was 17 and the pair tied the knot in 2022 – straight away trying to have children.
She said: “She was very desirable.”
Alexandra became pregnant in April 2023 but her health concerns “escalated”.
She said: “I didn’t want to watch scary movies in case it affected his heart rate.
“These were irrational things.”
She also suffered badly from the disease and began to realize that she was not sure she would be able to conceive again.
Alexandra said: “I can’t do this to a child again.”
At 30 weeks her blood pressure increased – so much so that one day she went momentarily blind.
She kept going in and out of the hospital and was admitted at 37 weeks. After the birth she decided that she did not feel she could have another child for her health.
Alexandra said: “My labor was horrible – I had an emergency C-section.
“There was no way I could be a good mother to Emilia and have another child.
“We didn’t know if this would happen again.
“I would do it a million times over again for her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for another child.”
Alexandra also struggled with postpartum anxiety, but after eight weeks she got help and is now doing well and loving being mom to Emilia.
He said: “She’s the kind of child who will convince you to have another child.”
Another reason for Alexander not wanting to have a second child is financial problems.
They want to be able to raise money for as many trips and clubs as possible for Emilia to attend – something they wouldn’t be able to do with any other child.
She said: “We are comfortable but we cannot comfortably have another child.
“We won’t have money to buy a four-bed house.”
Alexandra posted her thoughts on TikTok and was surprised by the “controversial” response.
She said: “The comments were ‘I’m selfish’. ‘You’re only thinking about yourself.’ ‘Can’t you adopt?’
“One said she hoped my husband left me for less selfish women who would give him step-siblings.
“Another woman tagged me in a video of sad only children.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could stay away from other people’s wombs.”
Alexandra thinks the low birth rate is due to many things, but she believes “women realized they had a choice”.
She said: “Being a mother doesn’t make me any less of a mother.
“There’s a lot of guilt – I’m not able to provide for his siblings. It’s not in me.
“What if he gets mad at me for this?
“But I live in the now.
“A sibling is not a guaranteed friend.”
